Top Joke in Northern Ireland
A doctor says to his patient, 'I have bad news and worse news'.
'Oh dear, what's the bad news?' asks the patient.
The doctor replies, 'You only have 24 hours to live'.
'That's terrible', said the patient. 'How can the news possibly be worse?'
The doctor replies, 'I've been trying to contact you since yesterday'.
Top Joke in UK
A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: 'That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!'
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!'
The man says: 'You go right up there and tell him off, go ahead,
I'll hold your monkey for you.
Top Joke in USA
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course.
One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral
procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his
golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: 'Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever
seen. You truly are a kind man.'
The man then replies: 'Yeah, well we were married for 35 years.'
Top Joke in Canada
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint
pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent
a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater,
on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
Top Joke in England
Two weasels are sitting on a barstool. One starts to insult the other one.
He screams, 'I slept with your mother!'
The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do.
The first again yells, 'I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!'
The other says, 'Go home dad you're drunk.
When a woman lies... brilliant
One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, 'My dear child, why are you crying?' The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family.. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with sapphires.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked The seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.
'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.
When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.
'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.
'Yes,' cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!'
The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.
Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband.
Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.
Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.
And so the Lord let her keep him.
The moral of this story is:
Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others.
That's our story, and we're sticking to it.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked The seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a golden thimble studded with rubies.
'Is this your thimble?' the Lord asked. Again, the seamstress replied, 'No.'
The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.
'Is this your thimble ?' the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, 'Yes.' The Lord was pleased with the woman's honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.
Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water.
When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, 'Why are you crying?' 'Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!'
The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.
'Is this your husband?' the Lord asked.
'Yes,' cried the seamstress.
The Lord was furious. 'You lied! That is an untruth!'
The seamstress replied, 'Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt.
Then if I said 'no' to him, you would have come up with my husband.
Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three.
Lord, I'm not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so THAT'S why I said 'yes' to George Clooney.
And so the Lord let her keep him.
The moral of this story is:
Whenever a woman lies, it's for a good and honorable reason, and in the best interest of others.
That's our story, and we're sticking to it.
Signs of Ovarian Cancer
An Eye Opener on Ovarian Cancer
I hope you all take the time to read this and pass it on to all you can. Send this to the women in your life that you care about.
Years ago, Gilda Radner died of ovarian cancer. Her symptoms were inconclusive, and she was treated for everything under the sun until it was too late. This blood test finally identified her illness but alas, too late. She wrote a book to heighten awareness. Gene Wilder is her widower.
KATHY'S STORY: this is the story of Kathy
West
As all of you know, I have Primary Peritoneal Cancer. This cancer has only recently been identified as its OWN type of cancer, but it is essentially Ovarian Cancer.
Both types of cancer are diagnosed in the same way, with the 'tumor marker' CA-125 BLOOD TEST, and they! are tre ated in the same way - surgery to remove the primary tumor and then chemotherapy with Taxol and Carboplatin.
Having gone through this ordeal, I want to save others from the same fate. That is why I am sending this message to you and hope you will print it and give it or send it via E-mail to everybody you know.
One thing I have learned is that each of us must take TOTAL responsibility for our own health care. I thought I had done that because I always had an annual physical and PAP smear, did a
monthly Self-Breast Exam, went to the dentist at least twice a year, etc. I even insisted on a sigmoidoscopy and a bone density test last year. When I had a total hysterectomy in 1993, I thought that I did not have to worry about getting any of the female reproductive organ cancers.
LITTLE DID I KNOW. I don't have ovaries (and they were HEALTHY when they were removed), but I have what is essentially ovarian cancer. Strange, isn't it?
These are just SOME of the things our Doctors never tell us: ONE out of every 55 women will get OVARIAN or PRIMARY PERITONEAL CANCER.
The 'CLASSIC' symptoms are an ABDOMEN that rather SUDDENLY ENLARGES and CONSTIPATION and/or DIARRHEA.
I had these classic symptoms and went to the doctor. Because these symptoms seemed to be 'abdominal', I went to a gastroenterologist. He ran tests that were designed to determine whether there was a bacteria infection; these tests were negative, and I was diagnosed
with 'Irritable Bowel Syndrome'. I guess I would have accepted this diagnosis had it not been for my enlarged abdomen. I swear to you, it looked like I was 4-5 months pregnant! I therefore insisted on more tests
They took an X-ray of my abdomen; it was negative. I was again assured that I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome and was encouraged to go on my scheduled month-long trip to Europe . I couldn't wear any of my slacks or shorts because I couldn't get them buttoned, and I KNEW something was radically wrong. ! I INSIST ED on more tests, and they reluctantly) scheduled me for a CT-Scan (just to shut me up, I think). This is what I mean by 'taking charge of our own health care.'
The CT-Scan showed a lot of fluid in my abdomen (NOT normal). Needless to say, I had to cancel my trip and have FIVE POUNDS of fluid drawn off at the hospital (not a pleasant experience I assure you), but NOTHING compared to what was ahead of me.
Tests revealed
cancer cells in the fluid. Finally, finally, finally, the doctor ran a CA-125 blood test, and I was properly diagnosed.
I HAD THE CLASSIC SYMPTOMS FOR OVARIAN CANCER, AND YET THIS SIMPLE CA-125 BLOOD TEST HAD NEVER BEEN RUN ON ME, not as part of my annual physical exam and not when I was symptomatic. This is an inexpensive and simple blood test!
PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ALL YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS AND RELATIVES TO INSIST ON A CA-125 BLOOD TEST EVERY YEAR AS PART OF THEIR ANNUAL PHYSICAL EXAMS.
Be forewarned that their doctors might try to talk them out of it, saying, 'IT ISN'T NECESSARY.' Believe me, had I known then what I know now, we would have caught my cancer much earlier (before it was a stage 3 cancer). Insist on the CA-125 BLOOD TEST; DO NOT take 'NO' for an answer!
The normal range for a CA-125 BLOOD TEST is between zero and 35. MINE WAS 754. (That's right, 754!). If the number is slightly above 35, you can have another done
in three or six months and keep a close eye on it, just as women do when they have fibroid tumors or when men have a slightly elevated PSA test (Prostatic Specific Antigens) that helps diagnose prostate cancer.
Having the CA-125 test done annually can alert you early, and that's the goal in diagnosing any type of cancer - catching it early.
Do you know 55 women? If so, at least one of them will have this VERY AGGRESSIVE cancer. Please, go to your doctor and insist on a CA-125 test and have one EVERY YEAR for the rest of your life.
And forward this message to every woman you know, and tell all of yo! ur our f emale family members and friends. Though the median age for this cancer is 56, (and, guess what, I'm exactly 56), women as young as 22 have it. Age is no factor.
A NOTE FROM THE RN:
Well, after reading this, I made some calls. I found that the CA-125 test is an ovarian
screening test equivalent to a man's PSA test prostate screen (which my husband's doctor automatically gives him in his physical each year and insurance pays for it) I called the general practitioner's office about having the test done. The nurse had never heard of it. She told me that she doubted that insurance would pay for it. So I called Prudential Insurance Co, and got the same response. Never heard of it - it won't be covered.
I explained that it was the same as the PSA test they had paid for my husband for years. After conferring with whomever they confer with, she told me that the CA-125 would be covered.
It is $75 in a GP's office and $125 at the GYN's. This is a screening test that should be required just like a PAP smear (a PAP smear cannot detect problems with your ovaries). And you must insist that your insurance company pay for it.
Gene Wilder and Pierce
Brosnan (his wife had it, too) are lobbying for women's health issues, saying that this test should be required in our physicals, just like the PAP and the mammogram. PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO SEND THIS OUT TO ALL THOSE YOU CAN. BE IT MALE OR FEMALE, IT SHOULD NOT MATTER, AS THEY CAN FORWARD IT ALSO TO THOSE LOVED ONES THEY KNOW.
I hope you all take the time to read this and pass it on to all you can. Send this to the women in your life that you care about.
Years ago, Gilda Radner died of ovarian cancer. Her symptoms were inconclusive, and she was treated for everything under the sun until it was too late. This blood test finally identified her illness but alas, too late. She wrote a book to heighten awareness. Gene Wilder is her widower.
KATHY'S STORY: this is the story of Kathy
West
As all of you know, I have Primary Peritoneal Cancer. This cancer has only recently been identified as its OWN type of cancer, but it is essentially Ovarian Cancer.
Both types of cancer are diagnosed in the same way, with the 'tumor marker' CA-125 BLOOD TEST, and they! are tre ated in the same way - surgery to remove the primary tumor and then chemotherapy with Taxol and Carboplatin.
Having gone through this ordeal, I want to save others from the same fate. That is why I am sending this message to you and hope you will print it and give it or send it via E-mail to everybody you know.
One thing I have learned is that each of us must take TOTAL responsibility for our own health care. I thought I had done that because I always had an annual physical and PAP smear, did a
monthly Self-Breast Exam, went to the dentist at least twice a year, etc. I even insisted on a sigmoidoscopy and a bone density test last year. When I had a total hysterectomy in 1993, I thought that I did not have to worry about getting any of the female reproductive organ cancers.
LITTLE DID I KNOW. I don't have ovaries (and they were HEALTHY when they were removed), but I have what is essentially ovarian cancer. Strange, isn't it?
These are just SOME of the things our Doctors never tell us: ONE out of every 55 women will get OVARIAN or PRIMARY PERITONEAL CANCER.
The 'CLASSIC' symptoms are an ABDOMEN that rather SUDDENLY ENLARGES and CONSTIPATION and/or DIARRHEA.
I had these classic symptoms and went to the doctor. Because these symptoms seemed to be 'abdominal', I went to a gastroenterologist. He ran tests that were designed to determine whether there was a bacteria infection; these tests were negative, and I was diagnosed
with 'Irritable Bowel Syndrome'. I guess I would have accepted this diagnosis had it not been for my enlarged abdomen. I swear to you, it looked like I was 4-5 months pregnant! I therefore insisted on more tests
They took an X-ray of my abdomen; it was negative. I was again assured that I had Irritable Bowel Syndrome and was encouraged to go on my scheduled month-long trip to Europe . I couldn't wear any of my slacks or shorts because I couldn't get them buttoned, and I KNEW something was radically wrong. ! I INSIST ED on more tests, and they reluctantly) scheduled me for a CT-Scan (just to shut me up, I think). This is what I mean by 'taking charge of our own health care.'
The CT-Scan showed a lot of fluid in my abdomen (NOT normal). Needless to say, I had to cancel my trip and have FIVE POUNDS of fluid drawn off at the hospital (not a pleasant experience I assure you), but NOTHING compared to what was ahead of me.
Tests revealed
cancer cells in the fluid. Finally, finally, finally, the doctor ran a CA-125 blood test, and I was properly diagnosed.
I HAD THE CLASSIC SYMPTOMS FOR OVARIAN CANCER, AND YET THIS SIMPLE CA-125 BLOOD TEST HAD NEVER BEEN RUN ON ME, not as part of my annual physical exam and not when I was symptomatic. This is an inexpensive and simple blood test!
PLEASE, PLEASE TELL ALL YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS AND RELATIVES TO INSIST ON A CA-125 BLOOD TEST EVERY YEAR AS PART OF THEIR ANNUAL PHYSICAL EXAMS.
Be forewarned that their doctors might try to talk them out of it, saying, 'IT ISN'T NECESSARY.' Believe me, had I known then what I know now, we would have caught my cancer much earlier (before it was a stage 3 cancer). Insist on the CA-125 BLOOD TEST; DO NOT take 'NO' for an answer!
The normal range for a CA-125 BLOOD TEST is between zero and 35. MINE WAS 754. (That's right, 754!). If the number is slightly above 35, you can have another done
in three or six months and keep a close eye on it, just as women do when they have fibroid tumors or when men have a slightly elevated PSA test (Prostatic Specific Antigens) that helps diagnose prostate cancer.
Having the CA-125 test done annually can alert you early, and that's the goal in diagnosing any type of cancer - catching it early.
Do you know 55 women? If so, at least one of them will have this VERY AGGRESSIVE cancer. Please, go to your doctor and insist on a CA-125 test and have one EVERY YEAR for the rest of your life.
And forward this message to every woman you know, and tell all of yo! ur our f emale family members and friends. Though the median age for this cancer is 56, (and, guess what, I'm exactly 56), women as young as 22 have it. Age is no factor.
A NOTE FROM THE RN:
Well, after reading this, I made some calls. I found that the CA-125 test is an ovarian
screening test equivalent to a man's PSA test prostate screen (which my husband's doctor automatically gives him in his physical each year and insurance pays for it) I called the general practitioner's office about having the test done. The nurse had never heard of it. She told me that she doubted that insurance would pay for it. So I called Prudential Insurance Co, and got the same response. Never heard of it - it won't be covered.
I explained that it was the same as the PSA test they had paid for my husband for years. After conferring with whomever they confer with, she told me that the CA-125 would be covered.
It is $75 in a GP's office and $125 at the GYN's. This is a screening test that should be required just like a PAP smear (a PAP smear cannot detect problems with your ovaries). And you must insist that your insurance company pay for it.
Gene Wilder and Pierce
Brosnan (his wife had it, too) are lobbying for women's health issues, saying that this test should be required in our physicals, just like the PAP and the mammogram. PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO SEND THIS OUT TO ALL THOSE YOU CAN. BE IT MALE OR FEMALE, IT SHOULD NOT MATTER, AS THEY CAN FORWARD IT ALSO TO THOSE LOVED ONES THEY KNOW.
Dengue Fever Remedy
I would like to share this interesting discovery from a classmate's son who has just recovered from dengue fever. Apparently, his son was in the critical stage at the ICU when his blood platelet count drops to 15 after 15 liters of blood transfusion.
His father was so worried that he seeks another friend's recommendation and his son was saved. He confessed to me that he gave his son raw juice of the papaya leaves. From a platelet count of 45 after 20 liters of blood transfusion, and after drinking the raw papaya leaf juice, his platelet count jumps instantly to 135. Even the doctors and nurses were surprised. After the second day he was discharged. So he asked me to pass this good news around.
Accordingly it is raw papaya leaves, 2pcs just cleaned and pound and squeeze with filter cloth. You will only get one tablespoon per leaf. So two tablespoon per serving once a day. Do not boil or cook or rinse with hot water, it will loose its strength. Only the leafy part and no stem or sap. It is very bitter and you have to swallow it like "Won Low Kat". But it works.
*Papaya Juice - Cure for Dengue*
You may have heard this elsewhere but if not I am glad to inform you that papaya juice is a natural cure for dengue fever. As dengue fever is rampant now, I think it's good to share this with all.
A friend of mine had dengue last year. It was a very serious situation for her as her platelet count had dropped to 28,000 after 3 days in hospital and water has started to fill up her lung. She had difficulty in breathing. She was only 32-year old. Doctor says there's no cure for dengue. We just have to wait for her body immune system to build up resistance against dengue and fight its own battle. She already had 2 blood transfusion and all of us were praying very hard as her platelet continued to drop since the first day she was admitted.
Fortunately her mother-in-law heard that papaya juice would help to reduce the fever and got some papaya leaves, pounded them and squeeze the juice out for her. The next day, her platelet count started to increase, her fever subside. We continued to feed her with papaya juice and she recovered after 3 days!!!
Amazing but it's true. It's believed one's body would be overheated when one is down with dengue and that also caused the patient to have fever papaya juice has cooling effect. Thus, it helps to reduce the level of heat in one's body, thus the fever will go away. I found that it's also good when one is having sore throat or suffering from heat.
Please spread the news about this as lately there are many dengue cases. It's great if such natural cure could help to ease the sufferings of dengue patients.
Furthermore it's so easily available.
Blend them and squeeze the juice! It's simple and miraculously effective!!
His father was so worried that he seeks another friend's recommendation and his son was saved. He confessed to me that he gave his son raw juice of the papaya leaves. From a platelet count of 45 after 20 liters of blood transfusion, and after drinking the raw papaya leaf juice, his platelet count jumps instantly to 135. Even the doctors and nurses were surprised. After the second day he was discharged. So he asked me to pass this good news around.
Accordingly it is raw papaya leaves, 2pcs just cleaned and pound and squeeze with filter cloth. You will only get one tablespoon per leaf. So two tablespoon per serving once a day. Do not boil or cook or rinse with hot water, it will loose its strength. Only the leafy part and no stem or sap. It is very bitter and you have to swallow it like "Won Low Kat". But it works.
*Papaya Juice - Cure for Dengue*
You may have heard this elsewhere but if not I am glad to inform you that papaya juice is a natural cure for dengue fever. As dengue fever is rampant now, I think it's good to share this with all.
A friend of mine had dengue last year. It was a very serious situation for her as her platelet count had dropped to 28,000 after 3 days in hospital and water has started to fill up her lung. She had difficulty in breathing. She was only 32-year old. Doctor says there's no cure for dengue. We just have to wait for her body immune system to build up resistance against dengue and fight its own battle. She already had 2 blood transfusion and all of us were praying very hard as her platelet continued to drop since the first day she was admitted.
Fortunately her mother-in-law heard that papaya juice would help to reduce the fever and got some papaya leaves, pounded them and squeeze the juice out for her. The next day, her platelet count started to increase, her fever subside. We continued to feed her with papaya juice and she recovered after 3 days!!!
Amazing but it's true. It's believed one's body would be overheated when one is down with dengue and that also caused the patient to have fever papaya juice has cooling effect. Thus, it helps to reduce the level of heat in one's body, thus the fever will go away. I found that it's also good when one is having sore throat or suffering from heat.
Please spread the news about this as lately there are many dengue cases. It's great if such natural cure could help to ease the sufferings of dengue patients.
Furthermore it's so easily available.
Blend them and squeeze the juice! It's simple and miraculously effective!!
Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names?
Confusing Chinese Names
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller :! No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone!
But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller : Well... just t ell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgen t matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).
Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
======================================================
This is hilarious ...
Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl! Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your but tocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone)?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller :! No, I want to speak to Annie Wan (anyone)!
Operator : You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan (Someone). And I need to talk to Annie Wan (anyone)! It's urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone!
But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller : Well... just t ell my sister Annie Wan (anyone) that our brother Noel Wan (no one)has involved in an accident. Noel Wan (no one)got injured and now Noel Wan (no one) is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgen t matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator : I'm Saw Lee (Sorry).
Caller : Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!
======================================================
This is hilarious ...
Why Chinese shouldn't have Christian names:
Anne Chang => Dirty (Mandarin)
Anne Chin => Keep Quiet (Mandarin)
Faye Chen => Dusty (Mandarin)
Carl! Cheng => Buttock (Hokkien)
Monica Cheng => Touching your but tocks (Hokkien)
Lucy Leow => You are dead (Hokkien)
Jane Tan => Frying eggs (Mandarin)
Suzie Leow => Lose till death (Hokkien)
Henry Mah => Hate your mum (Mandarin)
Corrine Tai => Poor fellow (Hokkien)
Paul Chan => Bankrupt (Mandarin)
Nelson Tan => Bird laying eggs (Mandarin)
Leslie Tong => Rubbish Bin (Mandarin)
Carmen Teng => Leg hair long (Hokkien)
Connie Mah => Call your mother (Cantonese)
Danny See => Squeeze you to death (Hokkien)
Rosie Teng => Screws and nails (Hokkien)
Pete Tsai => Nose droppings (Hokkien)
Macy Koh => Never die before (Cantonese)
如果有一天
看父母就是看自己的未來
如果你在一個平凡的家庭長大
如果你的父母還健在
不管你有沒有和他們同住
如果有一天，你發現媽媽的廚房不再像以前那麼乾淨
如果有一天，你發現家中的碗筷好像沒洗乾淨
如果有一天，你發現母親的鍋子不再雪亮
如果有一天，你發現父親的花草樹木已漸荒廢
如果有一天，你發現家中的地板衣櫃經常沾滿灰塵
如果有一天，你發現 母親煮的菜太鹹太難吃
如果有一天，你發現父母經常忘記關瓦斯
如果有一天，你發現老父老母的一些習慣不再是習慣時，就像他們不再想要天天洗澡時
如果有一天，你發現父母不再愛吃青脆的蔬果
如果有一天，你發現父母愛吃煮得爛爛的菜
如果有一天，你發現父母喜歡吃稀飯
如果有一天，你發現他們過馬路行動反應都慢了
如果有一天，你發現在吃飯時間他們老是咳個不停
千萬別誤以為他們感冒或著涼，( 那是吞嚥神經老化的現象)
如果有一天，你發覺他們不再愛出門 …
如果有這麼一天
我要告訴你，你要警覺父母真的已經老了
器官已經退化到需要別人照料了
如果你不能照料，請你替他們找人照料
並請你請你千萬千萬要常常探望
不要讓他們覺得被遺棄了
每個人都會老
父母比我們先老
我們要用角色互換的心情去照料他
才會有耐心、才不會有怨言
當父母不能料理自己的時候，為人子女要警覺，
他們可能會大小便失禁、可能會很多事都做不好，
如果房間有異味，可能他們自己也聞不到，
請不要嫌他髒或嫌他臭，為人子女的只能幫他清理，
並請維持他們的『自尊心』。
當他們不再愛洗澡時，
請抽空定期幫他們洗身體，
因為縱使他們自己洗也可能洗不乾淨。
當我們在享受食物的時候，
請替他們準備一份大小適當、容易咀嚼的一 小碗，
因為他們不愛吃可能是牙齒咬不動了。
從我們出生開始，
餵奶換尿布、生病的不眠不休照料、
教我們生活基本能力、供給讀書、吃喝玩樂和補習，關心和行動永遠都不停歇。
如果有一天，
他們真的動不了了，
角色互換不也是應該的嗎？
為人子女者要切記，
看父母就是看自己的未來，
孝順要及時。
如果有一天，
你像他們一樣老時，你希望怎麼過？
現在的你，
是在當單身寄生蟲、還是已婚雙料或多料寄生蟲？
你留意過自己的父母嗎？
樹欲靜而風不止、子欲養而親不在
您的父母還有多少時間等您?
如果你在一個平凡的家庭長大
如果你的父母還健在
不管你有沒有和他們同住
如果有一天，你發現媽媽的廚房不再像以前那麼乾淨
如果有一天，你發現家中的碗筷好像沒洗乾淨
如果有一天，你發現母親的鍋子不再雪亮
如果有一天，你發現父親的花草樹木已漸荒廢
如果有一天，你發現家中的地板衣櫃經常沾滿灰塵
如果有一天，你發現 母親煮的菜太鹹太難吃
如果有一天，你發現父母經常忘記關瓦斯
如果有一天，你發現老父老母的一些習慣不再是習慣時，就像他們不再想要天天洗澡時
如果有一天，你發現父母不再愛吃青脆的蔬果
如果有一天，你發現父母愛吃煮得爛爛的菜
如果有一天，你發現父母喜歡吃稀飯
如果有一天，你發現他們過馬路行動反應都慢了
如果有一天，你發現在吃飯時間他們老是咳個不停
千萬別誤以為他們感冒或著涼，( 那是吞嚥神經老化的現象)
如果有一天，你發覺他們不再愛出門 …
如果有這麼一天
我要告訴你，你要警覺父母真的已經老了
器官已經退化到需要別人照料了
如果你不能照料，請你替他們找人照料
並請你請你千萬千萬要常常探望
不要讓他們覺得被遺棄了
每個人都會老
父母比我們先老
我們要用角色互換的心情去照料他
才會有耐心、才不會有怨言
當父母不能料理自己的時候，為人子女要警覺，
他們可能會大小便失禁、可能會很多事都做不好，
如果房間有異味，可能他們自己也聞不到，
請不要嫌他髒或嫌他臭，為人子女的只能幫他清理，
並請維持他們的『自尊心』。
當他們不再愛洗澡時，
請抽空定期幫他們洗身體，
因為縱使他們自己洗也可能洗不乾淨。
當我們在享受食物的時候，
請替他們準備一份大小適當、容易咀嚼的一 小碗，
因為他們不愛吃可能是牙齒咬不動了。
從我們出生開始，
餵奶換尿布、生病的不眠不休照料、
教我們生活基本能力、供給讀書、吃喝玩樂和補習，關心和行動永遠都不停歇。
如果有一天，
他們真的動不了了，
角色互換不也是應該的嗎？
為人子女者要切記，
看父母就是看自己的未來，
孝順要及時。
如果有一天，
你像他們一樣老時，你希望怎麼過？
現在的你，
是在當單身寄生蟲、還是已婚雙料或多料寄生蟲？
你留意過自己的父母嗎？
樹欲靜而風不止、子欲養而親不在
您的父母還有多少時間等您?
Kiasu Jokes...
Story 1
Ah Lian ask shopkeeper: Eh Ah chek, u got sell stocking up to knee, boh?
Ah Chek : Lu siao ah! stocking wear up to 'yeo' (waist) only, where got up to the 'nee'(breast)one.
Story 2
3 recruits - Chinese, Malay & Indian are at the army supply base to collect underwear. The sergeant was there to aid the supplies.
Sergeant: Hei Ah Beng! How many underwear you need ah?
Ah Beng: (thinks a while) 7 sasen(sergeant)!
Sergeant: (puzzled) How come so many?
Ah Beng: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun. One day one.
Sergeant: (asked Malay recruit) Eh Mat! How many underwear?
Mat: (without hesitation) 6 sargen!
Sergeant: (curious) How come six?
Mat: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sat & Sun. Friday I wear sarong.
Sergeant: (asked Indian recruit) Dei Tambi. How many underwears dah dei?
Tambi: (very confidently) 12 Sarjen !!!!
Sergeant: (shocked & fell to the ground) Why you need so many for?
Tambi: January, February, March ... One month one.
Story 3
Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and wanted the DJ to play the song 'Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti' (In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys bread). The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to re-select another song. The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a bigfuss, claiming the DJ was insulting them. The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down. Finally, after long talk with Ah Bengs, the manager found out that Ah Bengs were actually asking for
the song 'Unchained Melody' by the Righteous Brothers.
Story 4
Santa Singh just graduated from Law school and decided to apply for a job in the most prestigious 'Lee & Lee Law Firm'.
During the interview, Mr. Lee KY looked at Santa Singh's resume, thought for a while and said, 'Well, I would need to discuss your application with my wife.' So Lee KY went off to discuss Santa's application with his wife. Lee KY's wife said, 'C'mon, don't you know that we only hire lawyers with surnames beginning with 'Lee' only? Of course, we can't hire Santa Singh!' So Lee KY told the bad news to Santa Singh about his rejection.
Few days later, Santa Singh came back and requested for another interview and Lee KY said, 'Look Santa, I have already told you that we only hire...' When Santa Singh interrupted him and said, 'I know, I know. I have just changed my name.
Lee KY looked at Santa Singh in surprise and asked, 'What is your new name then?' Santa Singh replied, 'Last name Manga & Surname Lee,!' (Manga-Lee)
Ah Lian ask shopkeeper: Eh Ah chek, u got sell stocking up to knee, boh?
Ah Chek : Lu siao ah! stocking wear up to 'yeo' (waist) only, where got up to the 'nee'(breast)one.
Story 2
3 recruits - Chinese, Malay & Indian are at the army supply base to collect underwear. The sergeant was there to aid the supplies.
Sergeant: Hei Ah Beng! How many underwear you need ah?
Ah Beng: (thinks a while) 7 sasen(sergeant)!
Sergeant: (puzzled) How come so many?
Ah Beng: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun. One day one.
Sergeant: (asked Malay recruit) Eh Mat! How many underwear?
Mat: (without hesitation) 6 sargen!
Sergeant: (curious) How come six?
Mat: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sat & Sun. Friday I wear sarong.
Sergeant: (asked Indian recruit) Dei Tambi. How many underwears dah dei?
Tambi: (very confidently) 12 Sarjen !!!!
Sergeant: (shocked & fell to the ground) Why you need so many for?
Tambi: January, February, March ... One month one.
Story 3
Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and wanted the DJ to play the song 'Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti' (In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys bread). The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to re-select another song. The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a bigfuss, claiming the DJ was insulting them. The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down. Finally, after long talk with Ah Bengs, the manager found out that Ah Bengs were actually asking for
the song 'Unchained Melody' by the Righteous Brothers.
Story 4
Santa Singh just graduated from Law school and decided to apply for a job in the most prestigious 'Lee & Lee Law Firm'.
During the interview, Mr. Lee KY looked at Santa Singh's resume, thought for a while and said, 'Well, I would need to discuss your application with my wife.' So Lee KY went off to discuss Santa's application with his wife. Lee KY's wife said, 'C'mon, don't you know that we only hire lawyers with surnames beginning with 'Lee' only? Of course, we can't hire Santa Singh!' So Lee KY told the bad news to Santa Singh about his rejection.
Few days later, Santa Singh came back and requested for another interview and Lee KY said, 'Look Santa, I have already told you that we only hire...' When Santa Singh interrupted him and said, 'I know, I know. I have just changed my name.
Lee KY looked at Santa Singh in surprise and asked, 'What is your new name then?' Santa Singh replied, 'Last name Manga & Surname Lee,!' (Manga-Lee)
Mature jokes - 12 simple Jokes to make you Cheer
1. Newly wed girl told mom her husband is still a virgin.
Mom asked "How do you know?"
Girl replied "Last night when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."
2. Bangladesh Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."
Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."
2 hours later Bangladesh Worker: "Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house."
3. After sex, Thai girl kept fondling man's cock.
Man asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Thai Girl replied: "No lah, just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."
4. Women's lives are hard. Morning wash clothes. Noon hang clothes. Evening keep clothes. Nite iron clothes. Midnight take off clothes. After midnight find clothes.
5. To make it straight she pulls it. To make it stand she rubs it. To make it stiff she licks it. To let it in she pushes it. True? Threading a needle is not easy.
6. Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
"Anyone got a cock?" All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?" All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?" All nuns rose.
7. A Sad story. A woman's husband died & she had him cremated.
She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said
"Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."
8. Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl you will get one."
Girl: "But mom what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many!"
9. A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
"If I give you $3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties."
10. Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
Teacher: "Why?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."
11. Two sperms talking on mobile.
Ist: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close by?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."
12. Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world
is a PENIS. This is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought .
Mom asked "How do you know?"
Girl replied "Last night when we made love, his cock was still in plastic cover."
2. Bangladesh Worker: "Sir, me no come to work, me sick."
Boss: " When I am sick, I have sex with my wife - try it."
2 hours later Bangladesh Worker: "Boss! It worked! Me ok now. You got nice house."
3. After sex, Thai girl kept fondling man's cock.
Man asked: "Why? Want to have sex again?"
Thai Girl replied: "No lah, just admiring your cock. I used to have one before."
4. Women's lives are hard. Morning wash clothes. Noon hang clothes. Evening keep clothes. Nite iron clothes. Midnight take off clothes. After midnight find clothes.
5. To make it straight she pulls it. To make it stand she rubs it. To make it stiff she licks it. To let it in she pushes it. True? Threading a needle is not easy.
6. Priest lost his chicken and asked during mass:
"Anyone got a cock?" All men rose.
"I meant anyone seen a cock?" All women rose.
"I mean anyone seen my cock?" All nuns rose.
7. A Sad story. A woman's husband died & she had him cremated.
She then blew his ashes into the ocean and said
"Sweetheart, this is my last blowjob for you."
8. Girl: "Mom what is a penis?"
Mom: "When you become a good girl you will get one."
Girl: "But mom what if I am not a good girl?"
Mom: "Then you will get many!"
9. A lawyer who was confused in his mathematics asked his secretary:
"If I give you $3 million less 17.5%, how much would you take off?"
Secretary: "Everything sir! Dress, Bra and Panties."
10. Schoolgirl: "I do not want to take the sex Education class."
Teacher: "Why?"
Schoolgirl: "Someone told me that the final exam will be Oral."
11. Two sperms talking on mobile.
Ist: "I'm somewhere between the fallopian tube and uterus. Are you close by?"
2nd: "No boy, I am taking a different route. I am just crossing the tonsils."
12. Scientists have discovered that the lightest thing in the world
is a PENIS. This is because it can be lifted up even by a simple thought .
DIABETES TREATMENT
Please note that another name for Lady Finger (Bhindi ) is " OKURA ".
Last month in one of TV program I learnt of a treatment of Sugar (Diabetes).
Since I am diabetic, I tried it and it was very useful and my Sugar is in control now.
In fact I have already reduced my medicine. Take two pieces of Lady Finger (Bhindi) and remove/cut both ends of each piece.
Also put a small cut in the middle and put these two pieces in glass of water. Cover the glass and keep it at room temperature during night.
Early morning, before breakfast simply remove two pieces of lady finger (bhindi) from the glass and drink that water.
Keep doing it on daily basis.
Within two weeks, you will see remarkable results in reduction of your SUGAR.
My sister has got rid of her diabetes. She was on Insulin for a few years, but after taking the lady fingers every morning for a few months,
she has stopped Insulin but continues to take the lady fingers every day.
But she chops the lady fingers into fine pieces in the night, adds the water and drinks it all up the next morning.
Please. try it as it will not do you any harm even if it does not do much good to you, but U have to keep taking it for a few months before U see results, as most
cases might be chronic.
Mother & Daughter BANNED from DISNEYLAND
MOTHER AND DAUGHTER BANNED FOR LIFE
FROM DISNEYLAND
this has got to be one of the funniest things
going around ............wonder
where they got the NERVE?
Men Are Hard To Please男人很难取悦!!
The problems with GUYS:
男人的问题是：
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
如果妳对他好，他说妳爱上他了．
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.
对他不好，他说妳骄傲．
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
如果妳穿得很漂亮，他说你企图诱惑他．
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.
如果不，他说妳是乡下来的
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
如果妳跟他理论，他说妳固执
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
如果妳沉默，他说妳没大脑！
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
如果妳比他聪明，他说那是小聪明
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
如果他比你聪明，他就是有智慧！
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
如果妳不爱他，他想拥有妳
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
如果妳爱他，他试着离开妳．
If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;
如果妳不跟他做爱，他说妳不爱他
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
如果跟他做，他说你是贱货！
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
如果妳告诉他妳的问题，他说妳麻烦
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.
如果不，他说妳不信任他
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
如果妳骂他，妳好象他奶妈
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
如果他骂妳，是表示他'关心'妳
If u BREAK yourPROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
如果妳没有守承诺，妳就是不可信的人
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
如果他不守承诺，他是迫不得已的
If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
如果妳吸烟，妳是坏女孩
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.
如果他吸烟，他是绅士
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
如果妳考试成绩好，他说是运气
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.
如果他考得好，他说是实力！
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
如果妳伤害了他，表示妳很残忍
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
&nsp; 如果他伤害了妳，表示妳太敏感而且太难取悦！
SO HARD TO PLEASE!!!!!
If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......
如果你寄这封信给男生，他们会发誓以上是不正确的．．
but if u don't they say u are selfish.....
如果你不寄给他们，他们说妳自私．．
男人的问题是：
If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
如果妳对他好，他说妳爱上他了．
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.
对他不好，他说妳骄傲．
If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
如果妳穿得很漂亮，他说你企图诱惑他．
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.
如果不，他说妳是乡下来的
If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
如果妳跟他理论，他说妳固执
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.
如果妳沉默，他说妳没大脑！
If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
如果妳比他聪明，他说那是小聪明
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.
如果他比你聪明，他就是有智慧！
If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
如果妳不爱他，他想拥有妳
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)
如果妳爱他，他试着离开妳．
If u don't make love with him., he says u don't Love him;
如果妳不跟他做爱，他说妳不爱他
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.
如果跟他做，他说你是贱货！
If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
如果妳告诉他妳的问题，他说妳麻烦
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.
如果不，他说妳不信任他
If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
如果妳骂他，妳好象他奶妈
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.
如果他骂妳，是表示他'关心'妳
If u BREAK yourPROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
如果妳没有守承诺，妳就是不可信的人
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
如果他不守承诺，他是迫不得已的
If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;
如果妳吸烟，妳是坏女孩
If he SMOKES, he is GENTLEMAN.
如果他吸烟，他是绅士
If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
如果妳考试成绩好，他说是运气
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.
如果他考得好，他说是实力！
If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
如果妳伤害了他，表示妳很残忍
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!
&nsp; 如果他伤害了妳，表示妳太敏感而且太难取悦！
SO HARD TO PLEASE!!!!!
If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......
如果你寄这封信给男生，他们会发誓以上是不正确的．．
but if u don't they say u are selfish.....
如果你不寄给他们，他们说妳自私．．
Four Boyfriends
Once upon a time there was a girl who had four boyfriends.
She loved the fourth boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.
She also loved the third boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.
She also loved her second boyfriend. He was her confident and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.
The girl's first boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!
One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, 'I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.'
Thus, she asked the fourth boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'
'No way!', replied the fourth boyfriend, and he walked away without another word. His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.
The sad girl then asked the third boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'No!', replied the third boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' Her heart sank and turned cold.
She then asked the second boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?'
'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the second boyfriend.. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.' His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.
Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.' The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.
Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'
In truth, you have four boyfriends in your lives:
Your fourth boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.
Your third boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth.When you die, it will all go to others.
Your second boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.
And your first boyfriend is your spirit. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world.
However, your spirit is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.
She loved the fourth boyfriend the most and adorned him with rich robes and treated him to the finest of delicacies. She gave him nothing but the best.
She also loved the third boyfriend very much and was always showing him off to neighboring kingdoms. However, she feared that one day he would leave her for another.
She also loved her second boyfriend. He was her confident and was always kind, considerate and patient with her. Whenever this girl faced a problem, she could confide in him, and he would help her get through the difficult times.
The girl's first boyfriend was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining her wealth and kingdom. However, she did not love the first boyfriend. Although he loved her deeply, she hardly took notice of him!
One day, the girl fell ill and she knew her time was short. She thought of her luxurious life and wondered, 'I now have four boyfriends with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.'
Thus, she asked the fourth boyfriend, 'I loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?'
'No way!', replied the fourth boyfriend, and he walked away without another word. His answer cut like a sharp knife right into her heart.
The sad girl then asked the third boyfriend, 'I loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?' 'No!', replied the third boyfriend. 'Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to marry someone else!' Her heart sank and turned cold.
She then asked the second boyfriend, 'I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?'
'I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!', replied the second boyfriend.. 'At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave.' His answer struck her like a bolt of lightning, and the girl was devastated.
Then a voice called out: 'I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go.' The girl looked up, and there was her first boyfriend. He was very skinny as he suffered from malnutrition and neglect.
Greatly grieved, the girl said, 'I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!'
In truth, you have four boyfriends in your lives:
Your fourth boyfriend is your body. No matter how much time and effort you lavish in making it look good, it will leave you when you die.
Your third boyfriend is your possessions, status and wealth.When you die, it will all go to others.
Your second boyfriend is your family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for you, the furthest they can stay by you is up to the grave.
And your first boyfriend is your spirit. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world.
However, your spirit is the only thing that will follow you where ever you go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of you that will follow you to the throne of God and continue with you throughout Eternity.
A good message
There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.
She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear; for before they were yours, they were mine.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
Life Is a Gift
Today before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today before you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children -
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -
Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job -
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -
Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.
She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her.
She told her boyfriend, 'If I could only see the world, I will marry you.'
One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend.
He asked her,'Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?'
The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her. She hadn't expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him.
Her boyfriend left her in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: 'Take good care of your eyes, my dear; for before they were yours, they were mine.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is how the human brain often works when our status changes.
Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.
Life Is a Gift
Today before you say an unkind word -
Think of someone who can't speak.
Before you complain about the taste of your food - Think of someone who has nothing to eat.
Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to GOD for a companion.
Today before you complain about life -
Think of someone who went too early to heaven.
Before you complain about your children -
Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.
Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep -
Think of the people who are living in the streets.
Before whining about the distance you drive
Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.
And when you are tired and complain about your job -
Think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job.
But before you think of pointing the finger or condemning another -
Remember that not one of us is without sin and we all answer to one MAKER.
And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down - Put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around.
原 來 很 簡 單
有一個人去應徵工作，隨手將走廊上的紙屑撿起來，
放進了垃圾桶，被路過的口試官看到了，因此他得到了這份工作。
原來獲得賞識很簡單，養成好習慣就可以了。
________________________________________
有個小弟在腳踏車店當學徒，有人送來一部故障的腳踏車，小弟除了將車修好，還把車子整理的漂亮如新，其他學徒笑他多此一舉，後來雇主將腳踏車領回去的第二天，小弟被挖角到那位雇主的公司上班。
原來出人頭地很簡單，吃點虧就可以了。
________________________________________
有個小孩對母親說：「媽媽你今天好漂亮。」母親回答：「為什麼。」小孩說「因為媽媽今天都沒有生氣。」
原來要擁有漂亮很簡單，只要不生氣就可以了。
________________________________________
有個牧場主人，叫他孩子每天在牧場上辛勤的工作，朋友對他說：「你不需要讓孩子如此辛苦，農作物一樣會長得很好的。」牧場主人回答說：「我不是在培養農作物，我是在培養我的孩子。」
原來培養孩子很簡單，讓他吃點苦頭就可以了。
________________________________________
有一個網球教練對學生說：「如果一個網球掉進草堆裏，應該如何找？」
有人答：「從草堆中心線開始找。」有人答：「從草堆的最凹處開始找。」有人答：「從草最長的地方開始找。」教練宣布正確答案：「按部就班的從草地的一頭，搜尋到草地的另一。」
原來尋找成功的方法很簡單，從一數到十不要跳過就可以了。
________________________________________
有一家商店經常燈火通明，有人問：「你們店裡到底是用什麼牌子的燈管？那麼耐用。」店家回答說：「我們的燈管也常常壞，祇是我們壞了就換而已。」
原來保持明亮的方法很簡單，只要常常更換就可以了
________________________________________
住在田邊的青蛙對住在路邊的青蛙說：「你這裡太危險，搬來跟我住吧！」路邊的青蛙說：「我已經習慣了，懶得搬了。」幾天後，田邊的青蛙去探望路邊的青蛙，卻發現他已被車子壓死，暴屍在馬路上。
原來掌握命運的方法很簡單，遠離懶惰就可以了。
________________________________________
有一隻小雞破殼而出的時候，剛好有隻烏龜經過，從此以後小雞就背著蛋殼過一生。
原來脫離沉重的負荷很簡單，放棄固執成見就可以了。
________________________________________
有幾個小孩很想當天使，上帝給他們一人一個燭臺，叫他們要保持光亮，結果一天兩天過去了，上帝都沒來，所有小孩已不再擦拭那燭臺，有一天上帝突然造訪，每個人的燭臺都蒙上厚厚的灰塵，只有一個小孩大家都叫他笨小孩，因為上帝沒來，他也每天都擦拭，結果這個笨小孩成了天使。
原來當天使很簡單，只要實實在在去做就可以了。
________________________________________
有隻小豬，向神請求做祂的門徒，神欣然答應，剛好有一頭小牛由泥沼裡爬出來，渾身都是泥濘，神對小豬說：「去幫他洗洗身子吧！」小豬訝異的答道：「我是神的門徒，怎麼能去侍候那髒兮兮的小牛呢！」神說：「你不去侍候別人，別人怎會知道，你是我的門徒呢！」
原來要變成神很簡單，只要真心付出就可以了。
________________________________________
有一支掏金隊伍在沙漠中行走，大家都步伐沉重，痛苦不堪，只有一人快樂的走著，別人問：「你為何如此愜意？」他笑著：「因為我帶的東西最少。」
原來快樂很簡單，擁有少一點就可以了。
________________________________________
人生的光彩在哪裡？
早上醒來，光彩在臉上，充滿笑容的迎接未來。
到了中午，光彩在腰上，挺直腰桿的活在當下。
到了晚上，光彩在腳上，腳踏實地的做好自己。
原來人生也很簡單，只要能懂得「珍惜、知足、感恩」你就擁有了生命的光彩
放進了垃圾桶，被路過的口試官看到了，因此他得到了這份工作。
原來獲得賞識很簡單，養成好習慣就可以了。
________________________________________
有個小弟在腳踏車店當學徒，有人送來一部故障的腳踏車，小弟除了將車修好，還把車子整理的漂亮如新，其他學徒笑他多此一舉，後來雇主將腳踏車領回去的第二天，小弟被挖角到那位雇主的公司上班。
原來出人頭地很簡單，吃點虧就可以了。
________________________________________
有個小孩對母親說：「媽媽你今天好漂亮。」母親回答：「為什麼。」小孩說「因為媽媽今天都沒有生氣。」
原來要擁有漂亮很簡單，只要不生氣就可以了。
________________________________________
有個牧場主人，叫他孩子每天在牧場上辛勤的工作，朋友對他說：「你不需要讓孩子如此辛苦，農作物一樣會長得很好的。」牧場主人回答說：「我不是在培養農作物，我是在培養我的孩子。」
原來培養孩子很簡單，讓他吃點苦頭就可以了。
________________________________________
有一個網球教練對學生說：「如果一個網球掉進草堆裏，應該如何找？」
有人答：「從草堆中心線開始找。」有人答：「從草堆的最凹處開始找。」有人答：「從草最長的地方開始找。」教練宣布正確答案：「按部就班的從草地的一頭，搜尋到草地的另一。」
原來尋找成功的方法很簡單，從一數到十不要跳過就可以了。
________________________________________
有一家商店經常燈火通明，有人問：「你們店裡到底是用什麼牌子的燈管？那麼耐用。」店家回答說：「我們的燈管也常常壞，祇是我們壞了就換而已。」
原來保持明亮的方法很簡單，只要常常更換就可以了
________________________________________
住在田邊的青蛙對住在路邊的青蛙說：「你這裡太危險，搬來跟我住吧！」路邊的青蛙說：「我已經習慣了，懶得搬了。」幾天後，田邊的青蛙去探望路邊的青蛙，卻發現他已被車子壓死，暴屍在馬路上。
原來掌握命運的方法很簡單，遠離懶惰就可以了。
________________________________________
有一隻小雞破殼而出的時候，剛好有隻烏龜經過，從此以後小雞就背著蛋殼過一生。
原來脫離沉重的負荷很簡單，放棄固執成見就可以了。
________________________________________
有幾個小孩很想當天使，上帝給他們一人一個燭臺，叫他們要保持光亮，結果一天兩天過去了，上帝都沒來，所有小孩已不再擦拭那燭臺，有一天上帝突然造訪，每個人的燭臺都蒙上厚厚的灰塵，只有一個小孩大家都叫他笨小孩，因為上帝沒來，他也每天都擦拭，結果這個笨小孩成了天使。
原來當天使很簡單，只要實實在在去做就可以了。
________________________________________
有隻小豬，向神請求做祂的門徒，神欣然答應，剛好有一頭小牛由泥沼裡爬出來，渾身都是泥濘，神對小豬說：「去幫他洗洗身子吧！」小豬訝異的答道：「我是神的門徒，怎麼能去侍候那髒兮兮的小牛呢！」神說：「你不去侍候別人，別人怎會知道，你是我的門徒呢！」
原來要變成神很簡單，只要真心付出就可以了。
________________________________________
有一支掏金隊伍在沙漠中行走，大家都步伐沉重，痛苦不堪，只有一人快樂的走著，別人問：「你為何如此愜意？」他笑著：「因為我帶的東西最少。」
原來快樂很簡單，擁有少一點就可以了。
________________________________________
人生的光彩在哪裡？
早上醒來，光彩在臉上，充滿笑容的迎接未來。
到了中午，光彩在腰上，挺直腰桿的活在當下。
到了晚上，光彩在腳上，腳踏實地的做好自己。
原來人生也很簡單，只要能懂得「珍惜、知足、感恩」你就擁有了生命的光彩
人生最大的懲罰就是後悔
不要跟你所在乎的人 ~ 嘔氣太久~~會讓你一輩子都後悔的!!
<感人的故事>
疼惜您所擁有的珍藏，追尋您所期盼的夢想-----
這是個真實的故事（蘆荻口述 連淑香整理)
一個個無情的誤解，打亂了幸福的腳步。
當命運的死結終於用代價打開，一切都為時已晚。
接婆婆來家安度晚年﹐結果卻背離我們的初衷﹐
結婚二年後﹐先生跟我商量把婆婆從鄉下接來安度晚年。
先生很小時父親就過世了﹐他是婆婆唯一的寄託﹐
婆婆一個人扶養他長大﹐供他讀完大學。
'含辛茹苦'這四個字用在婆婆的身上﹐絕對不為過！
我連連說好﹐馬上給婆婆收拾出一間南向帶陽台的房間﹐
可以曬太陽﹐養花草什麼的。
先生站在陽光充足的房間﹐一句話沒說﹐卻突然舉起我在房間裡轉圈﹐
在我張牙舞爪地求饒時﹐先生說﹕'接咱們媽去。'
先生身材高大﹐我喜歡貼著他的胸口﹐
感覺嬌小的身體隨時可被他抓起來塞進口袋。
當我和先生發生爭執而又不肯屈服時﹐先生就把我舉起來﹐
在腦袋上方搖搖晃晃﹐
一直到我嚇得求饒。
這種驚恐的快樂讓我迷戀。
婆婆在鄉下的習慣一時改不掉。
我習慣買束鮮花擺在客廳裡﹐婆婆後來實在忍不住﹕
'你們娃娃不知道過日子﹐買花幹什麼？又不能當飯吃！'
我笑著說﹕'媽﹐家裡有鮮花盛開﹐人的心情會好。'
婆婆低著頭嘟噥﹐先生就笑﹕
'媽﹐這是城裡人的習慣﹐慢慢的﹐你就習慣了。'
婆婆不再說什麼﹐但每次見我買了鮮花回來﹐依舊忍不住問花了多少錢﹐
我說了﹐他就'嘖嘖'咂嘴。
有時﹐見我買大包小包的東西回家﹐她就問這個多少錢那個多少錢﹐
我─如實回答﹐她的嘴就咂的更響了。
先生擰著我的鼻子說﹕'小傻瓜你別告訴她真實價錢不就行了嗎？'
快樂的生活漸漸有了不和諧的聲音。
婆婆最看不慣我先生起來做早餐。
在她看來﹐大男人給老婆燒飯﹐哪有這個道理？
早餐桌上﹐婆婆經常陰著一張臉﹐我裝做看不見。
婆婆便把筷子弄得叮噹亂響﹐這是她無聲的抗議。
我在少年宮做舞蹈老師﹐跳一整天舞已夠累的了﹐
早晨暖洋洋的被窩﹐我不想扔掉這惟一的享受﹐
於是﹐我對婆婆的抗議裝聾作啞。
婆婆偶爾願意幫我做一些家務﹐但她一做我就更忙了。
比如﹐她把用過的垃圾袋通通收集起來﹐說等攢夠了賣廢塑料﹐
搞得家裡到處都是廢塑料袋；
她捨不得用洗潔精洗碗﹐為了不傷她的自尊﹐我只好偷偷再洗一遍。
一次﹐我晚上偷偷洗碗被婆婆看見了﹐
她'啪'的一聲摔上門﹐趴在自己的房間裡放聲大哭。
先生左右為難﹐事後﹐先生一晚上沒跟我說話﹐
我撒嬌﹐耍賴﹐他也不理我。
我火了﹐ 問他﹕'我究竟哪裡做錯了？'
先生瞪著我說﹕'你就不能遷就一下﹐碗再不乾淨也吃不死人吧？'
後來﹐好長一段時間﹐婆婆不跟我說話﹐
家裡的氣氛開始逐漸尷尬。
那段日子﹐先生活得很累﹐不知道要先逗誰開心好。
婆婆為了不讓兒子做早餐﹐義無反顧地承擔起燒早飯的'重任'。
婆婆看著先生吃得快樂﹐再看看我﹐用眼神譴責我沒有盡到做妻子的責任。
為了逃避尷尬﹐我只好在上班的路上買包奶打發自己。
睡覺時﹐先生有點生氣地問我﹕
'蘆荻﹐是不是嫌棄我媽做飯不衛生才不在家吃？'
翻了一個身﹐他扔給我冷冷的脊背﹐任憑我委屈的流淚。
最後﹐先生嘆氣﹕
'蘆荻﹐就當是為了我﹐你在家吃早餐行不行？'
我只好回到尷尬的早餐桌上。
那天早晨﹐我喝著婆婆煮的稀飯﹐忽然一陣反胃﹐
肚子裡所有的東西都搶著向外奔跑﹐我拼命地壓抑著不讓它們往上翻湧﹐
但還是壓不住﹐我扔下碗﹐衝進廁所﹐吐得稀裡嘩啦。
當我喘息著平定下來時﹐聽見婆婆夾雜著家鄉話的抱怨和哭聲﹐
先生站在衛生間門口憤怒地望著我﹐
我乾張著嘴巴說不出話﹐我真的不是故意的。
我和先生開始了第一次激烈的爭吵﹐婆婆先是瞪著眼看我們﹐
然後起身﹐蹣跚著出門去了。
先生恨恨地瞪了我一眼﹐下樓追婆婆去了。
意外迎來新生命﹐卻突然葬送了婆婆的性命！
整整三天﹐先生沒有回家﹐連電話都沒有。
我正氣著﹐想想自從婆婆來後﹐我已經受夠委屈了﹐還要我怎麼樣？
莫明其妙的﹐我最近總想嘔吐﹐吃什麼都沒有胃口﹐
加上亂七八糟的家事﹐心情差到了極點。
後來﹐還是同事告訴我﹕'蘆荻﹐你臉色很差﹐還是去醫院看看吧。'
醫院檢查的結果是我懷孕了。
我明白了那天早晨我為什麼突然嘔吐﹐幸福中夾著一絲幽怨﹕
先生和曾經是過來人的婆婆﹐他們怎麼就絲毫沒有想到這點呢？
在醫院門口﹐我看見了先生。僅僅三天沒見﹐他憔悴了許多。
我本想轉身就走﹐但他的模樣讓我心疼﹐沒忍住﹐我喊了他。
先生循著聲音看見了我﹐卻好像不認識了﹐
眼神裡有一絲藏不住的厭惡﹐這冰冷地刺傷了我。
我跟自己說不要看他不要看他﹐伸手攔了一輛出租車。
那時﹐我多想向先生大喊一聲﹕
'親愛的我要給你生個寶貝了！'然後被他舉起來﹐幸福地旋轉。
我希望的並沒有發生。
在出租車裡﹐我的眼淚才遲遲地落下來。
為什麼一場爭吵就讓愛情糟糕到這樣的程度？
回家後﹐我躺在床上想先生﹐想他滿眼的厭惡。我握著被子的一角哭了。
夜裡﹐家裡有翻抽屜的聲音。
打開燈﹐我看見先生淚流滿面的臉。他正在拿錢。
我冷冷地看著他﹐一聲不響。他對我視若無睹﹐拿著存摺和鈔票匆匆離開。
或許先生是打算徹底離開我了。
真是個理智的男人﹐情與錢分得如此清楚。
我冷笑了幾下﹐眼淚'嘩啦嘩啦 '的流下來。
第二天﹐我沒去上班。想徹底清理一下自己的思緒﹐找先生好好談一談。
找到先生的公司﹐秘書有點奇怪地看著我說﹕
'陳總的母親出了車禍﹐這幾天都在醫院裡呢。'我瞠目結舌。
飛奔到醫院﹐找到先生時﹐婆婆已經去世了。
先生一直不看我﹐一臉僵硬。
我望著婆婆幹瘦蒼白的臉﹐眼淚止不住﹕天哪！怎麼會是這樣？
直到安葬了婆婆﹐先生也沒跟我說一句話﹐
甚至看我一眼都帶著深深的厭惡。
關於車禍﹐我還是從別人嘴裡了解到大概﹐婆婆出門後迷迷糊糊地向車站走﹐她想回老家﹐
先生越追她走得越快﹐
穿過馬路時﹐一輛公車迎面撞過來……
我終於明白了先生的厭惡﹐如果那天早晨我沒有嘔吐﹐
如果我們沒有爭吵﹐如果……在他的心裡﹐認定我是間接殺死他母親的罪人。
先生默不作聲搬進了婆婆的房間﹐每晚回來都滿身酒氣。
而我一直被愧疚和可憐的自尊折騰得喘不過氣來﹐
想跟他解釋﹐想跟他說我們快有孩子了﹐
但看著他冰冷的眼神﹐又把所有的話都咽了回去。
我寧願先生打我一頓或者罵我一頓﹐雖然這一切事故都不是我故意要它發生的。
日子一天一天地窒息著重覆下去﹐先生回家的時間越來越晚。
我們僵持著﹐比一般的陌生人還要尷尬。
我是繫在他心上的死結。
一次﹐我路過一家西餐廳﹐穿過透明的落地窗﹐
我看見先生和一個年輕女孩面對面坐著﹐
他輕輕地為女孩攏了攏頭髮﹐我就明白了這一切。
先是呆住﹐然後我進了西餐廳﹐站在先生面前﹐死死盯著他看﹐眼裡沒有一滴淚。
我什麼也不想說﹐也無話可說。
女孩看看我﹐看看我先生﹐站起來想走﹐但我先生伸手按住她﹐
然後﹐同樣死死地﹐一樣絕不示弱地看著我。
我只能聽見自己緩慢的心跳﹐一下一下跳動在瀕臨死亡般的蒼白邊緣。
輸了的是我﹐如果再站下去﹐我會和肚子裡的孩子一起倒下的。
那一夜﹐先生沒回家﹐他用這樣的方式讓我明白﹕
隨著婆婆的去世﹐我們的愛情也死了。
先生再也沒有回來過。
有時﹐我下班回來﹐看見衣櫥有被動過──是先生回來拿一點自己的東西。
我不想給他打電話﹐原先還有試圖向他解釋一番的念頭﹐但一切都已經徹底失去了。
我一個人過生活﹐一個人去醫院作產檢﹐
每每看見有男人小心地扶著妻子去做產檢﹐我的心便碎的不成樣子。
同事隱約勸我拿掉算了﹐我堅決說不﹐
我發瘋似的一定要生下這個孩子﹐也算是對婆婆的死的補償吧。
我下班回來﹐先生坐在客廳裡﹐滿屋子煙霧彌漫﹐茶几上擺著一張紙。
沒必要看﹐我知道那裡面寫了什麼內容。
先生不在家的二個多月﹐我逐漸學會了平靜。
我看著他﹐摘下帽子﹐說﹕'你等一下﹐我簽字。'
先生看著我﹐眼神複雜﹐和我一樣。
我一邊解大衣扣子一邊在心裡對自己說﹕'不哭不能哭……'眼睛很疼﹐
但我決不讓眼淚流出來。
掛好大衣﹐先生的眼睛死死的盯著我已然隆起的肚子。
我笑了笑﹐走過去﹐拖過那張紙﹐看也不看﹐簽上自己的名字﹐推還給他。
'蘆荻﹐你懷孕了？'
自從婆婆出事後﹐這是先生跟我說的第一句話。
我再也管不住眼睛﹐眼淚一瞬間嘩啦地流下來。
我說﹕'是啊﹐不過沒事﹐你可以走了。'
先生沒走﹐黑暗裡﹐我們對望著。
先生慢慢趴在我身上﹐眼淚滲透了被子。
而在我心裡﹐很多東西已經走遠了﹐遠到即使我奔跑都追不到了。
不記得先生跟我說過多少遍'對不起'了﹐
我也曾經以為自己會原諒﹐但卻不能﹐在西餐廳先生當著那個女孩的面﹐
他那冰冷的眼神﹐這輩子﹐我忘記不了了。
我們在彼此心上劃下了一道不可磨滅的傷痕。
我的﹐是無意的；他的﹐是刻意的。
期待著冰釋前嫌﹐但過去的已無法再重來！
除了想起肚子裡的孩子時心裡是暖暖的﹐而對先生﹐我心是冷如冰霜﹐
不吃他買的任何東西﹐不收他的任何禮物﹐不跟他多說一句話。
從在那張紙上簽了字後﹐婚姻以及愛情統統在我的心裡消失了。
有時先生試圖進臥室﹐他來﹐我就出去客廳﹐先生只好睡回婆婆的房間。
夜裡﹐從先生的房間有時會傳來輕微的呻吟﹐我都一聲不響。
這是他習慣玩的伎倆﹐以前只要我不理他了﹐他就裝病﹐
我就會乖乖投降﹐關心他怎麼了﹐他就一把抓住我哈哈大笑。
他似乎忘了﹐那時﹐我會心疼是因為有愛情﹐
而現在﹐我們還有什麼？
先生的呻吟斷斷續續的一直到孩子出生。
他幾乎每天都在給孩子買東西﹐嬰兒用品﹐兒童用品﹐
以及孩子喜歡的書﹐一包包的﹐快把他的房間堆滿了。
我知道他是想用這樣的方式感動我﹐而我完全不為所動。
他只好關在房間裡﹐用電腦'批哩啪啦'敲字﹐
或許他正網戀吧﹐但對我已經是無所謂的事了。
隔年春未的一個深夜﹐劇烈的腹痛讓我叫了出來﹐
先生一個箭步衝進來﹐好像他根本就沒脫衣服睡覺﹐
為的就是等這一刻的到來。
先生背起我就往樓下跑﹐攔車﹐一路上緊緊地握住我的手﹐
不停地幫我擦掉額頭上的汗。
到了醫院﹐背起我就往婦產科跑。
趴在他幹瘦而溫暖的背上﹐一個念頭忽然闖進我心裡﹕
這一生﹐還有人會像他這樣疼愛我嗎？
先生扶著產房的門把喘息著﹐看著我被推進去﹐
那眼神是暖融融的﹐我忍著陣痛對他笑了一下。
從產房出來後﹐先生望著我和兒子﹐
眼睛濕濕地笑啊笑啊的。
我摸了一下他的手﹐卻是意外的冰冷
先生望著我﹐微笑﹐然後﹐緩慢而疲憊地癱軟倒下。
我放聲叫喊著他名字……
先生依然笑著﹐但沒睜開那疲憊的眼睛……
我以為這一生我再也不會為先生流一滴淚﹐
而事實卻是﹐從沒有過的如此劇痛撕扯著我的身體。
醫生說﹐我先生的肝癌發現時已是晚期﹐他能堅持這麼久真的算是奇蹟。
我問醫生什麼 時候發現的？
醫生說在五個月前﹐然後安慰我﹕'好好的準備後事吧。'
我不顧護士的阻攔﹐回到家﹐衝進先生的房間打開電腦﹐
心跳一下子被疼痛窒息了。
先生的肝癌在五個月前就已發現﹐他在夜裡的呻吟是真的﹐
我居然還以為……
而電腦上滿滿的20多萬字﹐是先生寫給兒子的留言﹕
孩子﹐為了你﹐我一直在堅持﹐我要撐到看你一眼再倒下﹐
是我這一生最大的願望……
我知道﹐你的一生會有很多快樂或者遇到挫折﹐
如果我能夠陪你經歷這個成長歷程﹐那該有多麼美好﹐
但我想爸爸我沒有這個機會了。
爸爸在電腦上﹐把你一生可能遇到的問題一一地寫下來﹐
當你之後遇到這些問題時﹐或許你可以參考爸爸給你的意見…………
孩子﹐寫完這20多萬字﹐我感覺像陪你經歷了整個成長過程。
真的﹐爸爸現在很快樂。
好好愛你的媽媽﹐她很辛苦﹐
她是這世上最愛你的人﹐也是我這世上最愛的人……
從兒子去幼兒園到讀小學﹐讀中學﹐大學﹐
到工作以及愛情種種方面﹐巨細靡遺都寫到了。
先生也給我寫了留言﹕
親愛的﹐娶了你是我一輩子最大的幸福﹐
原諒我對你的傷害﹐原諒我隱瞞了病情﹐
因為我想讓你有個好的心情等待孩子的出生……
親愛的﹐如果你現在哭了﹐那代表你已經原諒我了﹐那我就會笑了﹐謝謝你一直愛著我…還為我生了個孩子…
這些禮物﹐我想我是沒有機會親自送給孩子了﹐
請你每年替我送他幾份禮物﹐包裝盒子上都寫好了送禮物的日期……親愛的……
回到醫院﹐先生依舊在昏迷中。
我把兒子抱過來﹐放在他身邊﹐我說﹕
'你睜開眼笑一下吧﹐我要讓兒子記住在他爸爸懷裡的溫暖……'
先生艱難地睜開眼﹐微微地笑了一下。
兒子偎依在他懷裡﹐舞動著粉紅色的小手。
我'喀嚓喀嚓'按下快門﹐淚水在臉上放肆地流……
親愛的朋友們 :
轉傳一篇感人的文章與你們分享，在你看完了故事，並哭紅你的雙眼時，請記得這個故事警惕我們，有話要講出來，不要憋在心裡，尤其是對於你所在乎的人。
「人生最大的懲罰就是後悔」，有智慧的您--能不好好把握嗎？
<感人的故事>
疼惜您所擁有的珍藏，追尋您所期盼的夢想-----
這是個真實的故事（蘆荻口述 連淑香整理)
一個個無情的誤解，打亂了幸福的腳步。
當命運的死結終於用代價打開，一切都為時已晚。
接婆婆來家安度晚年﹐結果卻背離我們的初衷﹐
結婚二年後﹐先生跟我商量把婆婆從鄉下接來安度晚年。
先生很小時父親就過世了﹐他是婆婆唯一的寄託﹐
婆婆一個人扶養他長大﹐供他讀完大學。
'含辛茹苦'這四個字用在婆婆的身上﹐絕對不為過！
我連連說好﹐馬上給婆婆收拾出一間南向帶陽台的房間﹐
可以曬太陽﹐養花草什麼的。
先生站在陽光充足的房間﹐一句話沒說﹐卻突然舉起我在房間裡轉圈﹐
在我張牙舞爪地求饒時﹐先生說﹕'接咱們媽去。'
先生身材高大﹐我喜歡貼著他的胸口﹐
感覺嬌小的身體隨時可被他抓起來塞進口袋。
當我和先生發生爭執而又不肯屈服時﹐先生就把我舉起來﹐
在腦袋上方搖搖晃晃﹐
一直到我嚇得求饒。
這種驚恐的快樂讓我迷戀。
婆婆在鄉下的習慣一時改不掉。
我習慣買束鮮花擺在客廳裡﹐婆婆後來實在忍不住﹕
'你們娃娃不知道過日子﹐買花幹什麼？又不能當飯吃！'
我笑著說﹕'媽﹐家裡有鮮花盛開﹐人的心情會好。'
婆婆低著頭嘟噥﹐先生就笑﹕
'媽﹐這是城裡人的習慣﹐慢慢的﹐你就習慣了。'
婆婆不再說什麼﹐但每次見我買了鮮花回來﹐依舊忍不住問花了多少錢﹐
我說了﹐他就'嘖嘖'咂嘴。
有時﹐見我買大包小包的東西回家﹐她就問這個多少錢那個多少錢﹐
我─如實回答﹐她的嘴就咂的更響了。
先生擰著我的鼻子說﹕'小傻瓜你別告訴她真實價錢不就行了嗎？'
快樂的生活漸漸有了不和諧的聲音。
婆婆最看不慣我先生起來做早餐。
在她看來﹐大男人給老婆燒飯﹐哪有這個道理？
早餐桌上﹐婆婆經常陰著一張臉﹐我裝做看不見。
婆婆便把筷子弄得叮噹亂響﹐這是她無聲的抗議。
我在少年宮做舞蹈老師﹐跳一整天舞已夠累的了﹐
早晨暖洋洋的被窩﹐我不想扔掉這惟一的享受﹐
於是﹐我對婆婆的抗議裝聾作啞。
婆婆偶爾願意幫我做一些家務﹐但她一做我就更忙了。
比如﹐她把用過的垃圾袋通通收集起來﹐說等攢夠了賣廢塑料﹐
搞得家裡到處都是廢塑料袋；
她捨不得用洗潔精洗碗﹐為了不傷她的自尊﹐我只好偷偷再洗一遍。
一次﹐我晚上偷偷洗碗被婆婆看見了﹐
她'啪'的一聲摔上門﹐趴在自己的房間裡放聲大哭。
先生左右為難﹐事後﹐先生一晚上沒跟我說話﹐
我撒嬌﹐耍賴﹐他也不理我。
我火了﹐ 問他﹕'我究竟哪裡做錯了？'
先生瞪著我說﹕'你就不能遷就一下﹐碗再不乾淨也吃不死人吧？'
後來﹐好長一段時間﹐婆婆不跟我說話﹐
家裡的氣氛開始逐漸尷尬。
那段日子﹐先生活得很累﹐不知道要先逗誰開心好。
婆婆為了不讓兒子做早餐﹐義無反顧地承擔起燒早飯的'重任'。
婆婆看著先生吃得快樂﹐再看看我﹐用眼神譴責我沒有盡到做妻子的責任。
為了逃避尷尬﹐我只好在上班的路上買包奶打發自己。
睡覺時﹐先生有點生氣地問我﹕
'蘆荻﹐是不是嫌棄我媽做飯不衛生才不在家吃？'
翻了一個身﹐他扔給我冷冷的脊背﹐任憑我委屈的流淚。
最後﹐先生嘆氣﹕
'蘆荻﹐就當是為了我﹐你在家吃早餐行不行？'
我只好回到尷尬的早餐桌上。
那天早晨﹐我喝著婆婆煮的稀飯﹐忽然一陣反胃﹐
肚子裡所有的東西都搶著向外奔跑﹐我拼命地壓抑著不讓它們往上翻湧﹐
但還是壓不住﹐我扔下碗﹐衝進廁所﹐吐得稀裡嘩啦。
當我喘息著平定下來時﹐聽見婆婆夾雜著家鄉話的抱怨和哭聲﹐
先生站在衛生間門口憤怒地望著我﹐
我乾張著嘴巴說不出話﹐我真的不是故意的。
我和先生開始了第一次激烈的爭吵﹐婆婆先是瞪著眼看我們﹐
然後起身﹐蹣跚著出門去了。
先生恨恨地瞪了我一眼﹐下樓追婆婆去了。
意外迎來新生命﹐卻突然葬送了婆婆的性命！
整整三天﹐先生沒有回家﹐連電話都沒有。
我正氣著﹐想想自從婆婆來後﹐我已經受夠委屈了﹐還要我怎麼樣？
莫明其妙的﹐我最近總想嘔吐﹐吃什麼都沒有胃口﹐
加上亂七八糟的家事﹐心情差到了極點。
後來﹐還是同事告訴我﹕'蘆荻﹐你臉色很差﹐還是去醫院看看吧。'
醫院檢查的結果是我懷孕了。
我明白了那天早晨我為什麼突然嘔吐﹐幸福中夾著一絲幽怨﹕
先生和曾經是過來人的婆婆﹐他們怎麼就絲毫沒有想到這點呢？
在醫院門口﹐我看見了先生。僅僅三天沒見﹐他憔悴了許多。
我本想轉身就走﹐但他的模樣讓我心疼﹐沒忍住﹐我喊了他。
先生循著聲音看見了我﹐卻好像不認識了﹐
眼神裡有一絲藏不住的厭惡﹐這冰冷地刺傷了我。
我跟自己說不要看他不要看他﹐伸手攔了一輛出租車。
那時﹐我多想向先生大喊一聲﹕
'親愛的我要給你生個寶貝了！'然後被他舉起來﹐幸福地旋轉。
我希望的並沒有發生。
在出租車裡﹐我的眼淚才遲遲地落下來。
為什麼一場爭吵就讓愛情糟糕到這樣的程度？
回家後﹐我躺在床上想先生﹐想他滿眼的厭惡。我握著被子的一角哭了。
夜裡﹐家裡有翻抽屜的聲音。
打開燈﹐我看見先生淚流滿面的臉。他正在拿錢。
我冷冷地看著他﹐一聲不響。他對我視若無睹﹐拿著存摺和鈔票匆匆離開。
或許先生是打算徹底離開我了。
真是個理智的男人﹐情與錢分得如此清楚。
我冷笑了幾下﹐眼淚'嘩啦嘩啦 '的流下來。
第二天﹐我沒去上班。想徹底清理一下自己的思緒﹐找先生好好談一談。
找到先生的公司﹐秘書有點奇怪地看著我說﹕
'陳總的母親出了車禍﹐這幾天都在醫院裡呢。'我瞠目結舌。
飛奔到醫院﹐找到先生時﹐婆婆已經去世了。
先生一直不看我﹐一臉僵硬。
我望著婆婆幹瘦蒼白的臉﹐眼淚止不住﹕天哪！怎麼會是這樣？
直到安葬了婆婆﹐先生也沒跟我說一句話﹐
甚至看我一眼都帶著深深的厭惡。
關於車禍﹐我還是從別人嘴裡了解到大概﹐婆婆出門後迷迷糊糊地向車站走﹐她想回老家﹐
先生越追她走得越快﹐
穿過馬路時﹐一輛公車迎面撞過來……
我終於明白了先生的厭惡﹐如果那天早晨我沒有嘔吐﹐
如果我們沒有爭吵﹐如果……在他的心裡﹐認定我是間接殺死他母親的罪人。
先生默不作聲搬進了婆婆的房間﹐每晚回來都滿身酒氣。
而我一直被愧疚和可憐的自尊折騰得喘不過氣來﹐
想跟他解釋﹐想跟他說我們快有孩子了﹐
但看著他冰冷的眼神﹐又把所有的話都咽了回去。
我寧願先生打我一頓或者罵我一頓﹐雖然這一切事故都不是我故意要它發生的。
日子一天一天地窒息著重覆下去﹐先生回家的時間越來越晚。
我們僵持著﹐比一般的陌生人還要尷尬。
我是繫在他心上的死結。
一次﹐我路過一家西餐廳﹐穿過透明的落地窗﹐
我看見先生和一個年輕女孩面對面坐著﹐
他輕輕地為女孩攏了攏頭髮﹐我就明白了這一切。
先是呆住﹐然後我進了西餐廳﹐站在先生面前﹐死死盯著他看﹐眼裡沒有一滴淚。
我什麼也不想說﹐也無話可說。
女孩看看我﹐看看我先生﹐站起來想走﹐但我先生伸手按住她﹐
然後﹐同樣死死地﹐一樣絕不示弱地看著我。
我只能聽見自己緩慢的心跳﹐一下一下跳動在瀕臨死亡般的蒼白邊緣。
輸了的是我﹐如果再站下去﹐我會和肚子裡的孩子一起倒下的。
那一夜﹐先生沒回家﹐他用這樣的方式讓我明白﹕
隨著婆婆的去世﹐我們的愛情也死了。
先生再也沒有回來過。
有時﹐我下班回來﹐看見衣櫥有被動過──是先生回來拿一點自己的東西。
我不想給他打電話﹐原先還有試圖向他解釋一番的念頭﹐但一切都已經徹底失去了。
我一個人過生活﹐一個人去醫院作產檢﹐
每每看見有男人小心地扶著妻子去做產檢﹐我的心便碎的不成樣子。
同事隱約勸我拿掉算了﹐我堅決說不﹐
我發瘋似的一定要生下這個孩子﹐也算是對婆婆的死的補償吧。
我下班回來﹐先生坐在客廳裡﹐滿屋子煙霧彌漫﹐茶几上擺著一張紙。
沒必要看﹐我知道那裡面寫了什麼內容。
先生不在家的二個多月﹐我逐漸學會了平靜。
我看著他﹐摘下帽子﹐說﹕'你等一下﹐我簽字。'
先生看著我﹐眼神複雜﹐和我一樣。
我一邊解大衣扣子一邊在心裡對自己說﹕'不哭不能哭……'眼睛很疼﹐
但我決不讓眼淚流出來。
掛好大衣﹐先生的眼睛死死的盯著我已然隆起的肚子。
我笑了笑﹐走過去﹐拖過那張紙﹐看也不看﹐簽上自己的名字﹐推還給他。
'蘆荻﹐你懷孕了？'
自從婆婆出事後﹐這是先生跟我說的第一句話。
我再也管不住眼睛﹐眼淚一瞬間嘩啦地流下來。
我說﹕'是啊﹐不過沒事﹐你可以走了。'
先生沒走﹐黑暗裡﹐我們對望著。
先生慢慢趴在我身上﹐眼淚滲透了被子。
而在我心裡﹐很多東西已經走遠了﹐遠到即使我奔跑都追不到了。
不記得先生跟我說過多少遍'對不起'了﹐
我也曾經以為自己會原諒﹐但卻不能﹐在西餐廳先生當著那個女孩的面﹐
他那冰冷的眼神﹐這輩子﹐我忘記不了了。
我們在彼此心上劃下了一道不可磨滅的傷痕。
我的﹐是無意的；他的﹐是刻意的。
期待著冰釋前嫌﹐但過去的已無法再重來！
除了想起肚子裡的孩子時心裡是暖暖的﹐而對先生﹐我心是冷如冰霜﹐
不吃他買的任何東西﹐不收他的任何禮物﹐不跟他多說一句話。
從在那張紙上簽了字後﹐婚姻以及愛情統統在我的心裡消失了。
有時先生試圖進臥室﹐他來﹐我就出去客廳﹐先生只好睡回婆婆的房間。
夜裡﹐從先生的房間有時會傳來輕微的呻吟﹐我都一聲不響。
這是他習慣玩的伎倆﹐以前只要我不理他了﹐他就裝病﹐
我就會乖乖投降﹐關心他怎麼了﹐他就一把抓住我哈哈大笑。
他似乎忘了﹐那時﹐我會心疼是因為有愛情﹐
而現在﹐我們還有什麼？
先生的呻吟斷斷續續的一直到孩子出生。
他幾乎每天都在給孩子買東西﹐嬰兒用品﹐兒童用品﹐
以及孩子喜歡的書﹐一包包的﹐快把他的房間堆滿了。
我知道他是想用這樣的方式感動我﹐而我完全不為所動。
他只好關在房間裡﹐用電腦'批哩啪啦'敲字﹐
或許他正網戀吧﹐但對我已經是無所謂的事了。
隔年春未的一個深夜﹐劇烈的腹痛讓我叫了出來﹐
先生一個箭步衝進來﹐好像他根本就沒脫衣服睡覺﹐
為的就是等這一刻的到來。
先生背起我就往樓下跑﹐攔車﹐一路上緊緊地握住我的手﹐
不停地幫我擦掉額頭上的汗。
到了醫院﹐背起我就往婦產科跑。
趴在他幹瘦而溫暖的背上﹐一個念頭忽然闖進我心裡﹕
這一生﹐還有人會像他這樣疼愛我嗎？
先生扶著產房的門把喘息著﹐看著我被推進去﹐
那眼神是暖融融的﹐我忍著陣痛對他笑了一下。
從產房出來後﹐先生望著我和兒子﹐
眼睛濕濕地笑啊笑啊的。
我摸了一下他的手﹐卻是意外的冰冷
先生望著我﹐微笑﹐然後﹐緩慢而疲憊地癱軟倒下。
我放聲叫喊著他名字……
先生依然笑著﹐但沒睜開那疲憊的眼睛……
我以為這一生我再也不會為先生流一滴淚﹐
而事實卻是﹐從沒有過的如此劇痛撕扯著我的身體。
醫生說﹐我先生的肝癌發現時已是晚期﹐他能堅持這麼久真的算是奇蹟。
我問醫生什麼 時候發現的？
醫生說在五個月前﹐然後安慰我﹕'好好的準備後事吧。'
我不顧護士的阻攔﹐回到家﹐衝進先生的房間打開電腦﹐
心跳一下子被疼痛窒息了。
先生的肝癌在五個月前就已發現﹐他在夜裡的呻吟是真的﹐
我居然還以為……
而電腦上滿滿的20多萬字﹐是先生寫給兒子的留言﹕
孩子﹐為了你﹐我一直在堅持﹐我要撐到看你一眼再倒下﹐
是我這一生最大的願望……
我知道﹐你的一生會有很多快樂或者遇到挫折﹐
如果我能夠陪你經歷這個成長歷程﹐那該有多麼美好﹐
但我想爸爸我沒有這個機會了。
爸爸在電腦上﹐把你一生可能遇到的問題一一地寫下來﹐
當你之後遇到這些問題時﹐或許你可以參考爸爸給你的意見…………
孩子﹐寫完這20多萬字﹐我感覺像陪你經歷了整個成長過程。
真的﹐爸爸現在很快樂。
好好愛你的媽媽﹐她很辛苦﹐
她是這世上最愛你的人﹐也是我這世上最愛的人……
從兒子去幼兒園到讀小學﹐讀中學﹐大學﹐
到工作以及愛情種種方面﹐巨細靡遺都寫到了。
先生也給我寫了留言﹕
親愛的﹐娶了你是我一輩子最大的幸福﹐
原諒我對你的傷害﹐原諒我隱瞞了病情﹐
因為我想讓你有個好的心情等待孩子的出生……
親愛的﹐如果你現在哭了﹐那代表你已經原諒我了﹐那我就會笑了﹐謝謝你一直愛著我…還為我生了個孩子…
這些禮物﹐我想我是沒有機會親自送給孩子了﹐
請你每年替我送他幾份禮物﹐包裝盒子上都寫好了送禮物的日期……親愛的……
回到醫院﹐先生依舊在昏迷中。
我把兒子抱過來﹐放在他身邊﹐我說﹕
'你睜開眼笑一下吧﹐我要讓兒子記住在他爸爸懷裡的溫暖……'
先生艱難地睜開眼﹐微微地笑了一下。
兒子偎依在他懷裡﹐舞動著粉紅色的小手。
我'喀嚓喀嚓'按下快門﹐淚水在臉上放肆地流……
親愛的朋友們 :
轉傳一篇感人的文章與你們分享，在你看完了故事，並哭紅你的雙眼時，請記得這個故事警惕我們，有話要講出來，不要憋在心裡，尤其是對於你所在乎的人。
「人生最大的懲罰就是後悔」，有智慧的您--能不好好把握嗎？
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North Am erica ..
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
________________________________ ____________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O..
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right...... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
______________ ___________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
________ __________________________
PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
________________________________ ____________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O..
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right...... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
______________ ___________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
________ __________________________
PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH!
LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE!!
Chicken Wings - Its Dangerous
Avoid eating chicken wings frequently - ladies, especially; a true story...!
A friend of mine recently had a growth in her womb and she underwent an operation to remove the cyst. The cyst removed was filled with a dark colored blood. She thought that she would be recovered after the
surgery but! she was terribly wrong.
A relapse occurred just a few months later. Distressed, she rushed down to her gynecologist for a consultation.
During her consultation, her doctor asked her a question that puzzled her. He ask if she was a frequent consumer of chicken wings and she replied yes wondering as to how, he knew of her eating habits.
You see, the truth is in this modern day and age; chickens are injected with steroids to accelerate their growth so that the needs of this society can be met. This need is none other than the need for food.
Chickens that are injected with steroids are usually given the shot at the neck or the wings. Therefore, it is in these places that the highest concentration of steroids exists. These steroids have terrifying effects on the body as it accelerates growth. It has an even more dangerous effect in the presence of female hormones, this leads to women being more prone to the growth of a cyst in the womb. Therefore, I advise the people out there to watch their diets and to lower their frequency of consuming chicken wings!
People, who read this article, please forward it to your friends and loved ones. I am sure no one wants to see him or her suffer.
A friend of mine recently had a growth in her womb and she underwent an operation to remove the cyst. The cyst removed was filled with a dark colored blood. She thought that she would be recovered after the
surgery but! she was terribly wrong.
A relapse occurred just a few months later. Distressed, she rushed down to her gynecologist for a consultation.
During her consultation, her doctor asked her a question that puzzled her. He ask if she was a frequent consumer of chicken wings and she replied yes wondering as to how, he knew of her eating habits.
You see, the truth is in this modern day and age; chickens are injected with steroids to accelerate their growth so that the needs of this society can be met. This need is none other than the need for food.
Chickens that are injected with steroids are usually given the shot at the neck or the wings. Therefore, it is in these places that the highest concentration of steroids exists. These steroids have terrifying effects on the body as it accelerates growth. It has an even more dangerous effect in the presence of female hormones, this leads to women being more prone to the growth of a cyst in the womb. Therefore, I advise the people out there to watch their diets and to lower their frequency of consuming chicken wings!
People, who read this article, please forward it to your friends and loved ones. I am sure no one wants to see him or her suffer.
Coming October 17, 2008 the sun will rise continuously for 36 hrs
Coming October 17, 2008 the sun will rise continuously for 36 hrs (1.5days). During this time the UScountries will be dark for 1.5 days.
It will convert 3 daysinto 2 big days. It will happen once in 2400 yrs . We're very lucky to see this. Forward it to all ur friends.
It will convert 3 daysinto 2 big days. It will happen once in 2400 yrs . We're very lucky to see this. Forward it to all ur friends.
爱
往往许多人在抉择伴侣时，容易东想西想，不知所措，就是因为害怕一时做错决定，看错人，造成终生的遗憾。
诺贝尔文学奖得主萧伯纳说：「此时此刻在地球上，约有两万个人适合当你的人生伴侣，就看你先遇到哪一个，如果在第二个理想伴侣出现之前，你已经跟前一个人发展出相知相惜、互相信赖的深层关系，那后者就会变成你的好朋友，但是若你跟前一个人没有培养出深层关系，感情就容易动摇、变心，直到你与这些理想伴侣候选人的其中一位拥有稳固的深情，才是幸福的开始，漂泊的结束」
爱上一个人不需要靠努力，只需要靠「际遇」，是上天的安排，但是「持续地爱一个人」就要靠「努力」，在爱情的经营中，顺畅运转的要素就是沟通、体谅、包容与自制(面临诱惑有所自制)。有许多人总是为「际遇」所迷惑与苦恼，意念不停、欲念不断、争逐不散，而忘了培养经营感情的能力才是幸福的关键。
所以不要去追问到底谁才是我的Mr. Right，而是要问说在眼前的伴侣关系中，我能努力到什么程度、成长到什么程度，若没有培养出经营幸福的能力，就算真的 Mr. Right出现在你身边，幸福依然会错过的，而活在犹疑与遗憾当中，这不就是许多「爱情虚无症」的遭遇与心态吗？
若你此刻已有一位长久相伴的伴侣，不要再随便三心二意地犹疑了，我们往往不易察觉感情中的一个陷阱，就是「近亲生慢侮」，也就是经济学中的铁律「边际效益递减法则」，跟你在一起越久的人，就越容易麻木与忽视，而新鲜的「际遇」总是那么动人可爱。
在感情对待中，难免有摩擦与无心的伤害，而且论得罪自己的次数累加起来最多的人，当然是跟我们在一起最久、最亲近的人。而新欢呢，又还没开始有得罪你的机会，再加上他的刻意讨好，所以新欢怎么看怎么可爱，旧爱怎么看怎么讨厌。
但别忘了，新欢身上总是有不确定的未知数，旧爱身上就是有难得的熟悉感、确定感、信赖感。千万不要随便在偶然的「际遇」中迷失了自己，错放了幸福温暖的手。
所以萧伯纳的话，是要提醒情人不要太钻牛角尖于寻觅那唯一，应该把精神用在学会经营幸福的能力上，同时也提醒我们「溺水三千只取一瓢饮」若有幸遇到了难得的伴侣，就不要再三心二意了，因为我们永远不知道一生何时会遇到两万个其中的几个 ，所以要知福惜福 、活在当下
勇气
终于作了这个决定 别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定 我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易 我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃 爱真的需要勇气来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定 我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气 去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你 放在我手心里你的真心
诺贝尔文学奖得主萧伯纳说：「此时此刻在地球上，约有两万个人适合当你的人生伴侣，就看你先遇到哪一个，如果在第二个理想伴侣出现之前，你已经跟前一个人发展出相知相惜、互相信赖的深层关系，那后者就会变成你的好朋友，但是若你跟前一个人没有培养出深层关系，感情就容易动摇、变心，直到你与这些理想伴侣候选人的其中一位拥有稳固的深情，才是幸福的开始，漂泊的结束」
爱上一个人不需要靠努力，只需要靠「际遇」，是上天的安排，但是「持续地爱一个人」就要靠「努力」，在爱情的经营中，顺畅运转的要素就是沟通、体谅、包容与自制(面临诱惑有所自制)。有许多人总是为「际遇」所迷惑与苦恼，意念不停、欲念不断、争逐不散，而忘了培养经营感情的能力才是幸福的关键。
所以不要去追问到底谁才是我的Mr. Right，而是要问说在眼前的伴侣关系中，我能努力到什么程度、成长到什么程度，若没有培养出经营幸福的能力，就算真的 Mr. Right出现在你身边，幸福依然会错过的，而活在犹疑与遗憾当中，这不就是许多「爱情虚无症」的遭遇与心态吗？
若你此刻已有一位长久相伴的伴侣，不要再随便三心二意地犹疑了，我们往往不易察觉感情中的一个陷阱，就是「近亲生慢侮」，也就是经济学中的铁律「边际效益递减法则」，跟你在一起越久的人，就越容易麻木与忽视，而新鲜的「际遇」总是那么动人可爱。
在感情对待中，难免有摩擦与无心的伤害，而且论得罪自己的次数累加起来最多的人，当然是跟我们在一起最久、最亲近的人。而新欢呢，又还没开始有得罪你的机会，再加上他的刻意讨好，所以新欢怎么看怎么可爱，旧爱怎么看怎么讨厌。
但别忘了，新欢身上总是有不确定的未知数，旧爱身上就是有难得的熟悉感、确定感、信赖感。千万不要随便在偶然的「际遇」中迷失了自己，错放了幸福温暖的手。
所以萧伯纳的话，是要提醒情人不要太钻牛角尖于寻觅那唯一，应该把精神用在学会经营幸福的能力上，同时也提醒我们「溺水三千只取一瓢饮」若有幸遇到了难得的伴侣，就不要再三心二意了，因为我们永远不知道一生何时会遇到两万个其中的几个 ，所以要知福惜福 、活在当下
勇气
终于作了这个决定 别人怎么说我不理
只要你也一样的肯定 我愿意天涯海角都随你去
我知道一切不容易 我的心一直温习说服自己
最怕你忽然说要放弃 爱真的需要勇气来面对流言蜚语
只要你一个眼神肯定 我的爱就有意义
我们都需要勇气 去相信会在一起
人潮拥挤我能感觉你 放在我手心里你的真心
TRUE STORY --- VERY SHOCKING
Very Shocking.... .
This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Chandigarh. Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.
She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone. You used to be never found without her without handphone. In fact she also changed her cell connection from Airtel to Hutch, so that both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.
She used to spend half of the day talking with shankar. Priya's family knew about their relationship.. Shankar was very close to Priya's family as well. (Just imagine their love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends 'If I pass away please burn me with my handphone' she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people cudnt carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so
but still cant everybody had tried to carry the body, the results were the same. Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.
After a few minutes, he said 'this girl misses something here.' Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily and they then carried her into the van.
All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away..
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....
Shankar :....'Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me.
Don't tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her.'
Her mother replied..... 'You come home first, I wanna tell you something
very
important.'
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya. Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said 'don't try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop this face nonsense'.
Then they show him the original death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) He
said... 'Its not true. We spoke yesterday.. She still calls me.
Shankar was shaking.
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. 'see this is from Priya, see this....'
he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer. he
talked using the loudspeaker mode..
All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming..
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim
card since it is nailed inside the grave box
They were so shocked and asked
for the same person's
(who can speak with the soul of deal persons) help again. He brought his
master to solve this matter.
He & his master
worked for 5 hours.
Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them....
Vodafone has the best coverage.
'Where ever you go, our network follows!!!'
This is a real story of a young college girl who passed away last month in Chandigarh. Her name was Priya. She was hit by a truck.
She was working in a call center. She had a boy friend named Shankar. Both of them were true lovers. They always talked on the phone. You used to be never found without her without handphone. In fact she also changed her cell connection from Airtel to Hutch, so that both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost.
She used to spend half of the day talking with shankar. Priya's family knew about their relationship.. Shankar was very close to Priya's family as well. (Just imagine their love) . Before she passed away she always told her friends 'If I pass away please burn me with my handphone' she also said the same thing to her parents.
After her death, people cudnt carry her body, A lot of them tried to do so
but still cant everybody had tried to carry the body, the results were the same. Eventually, they called a person known to one of their neighbours, who can speak with the soul of dead person and who was a friend of her father.
He took a stick and started speaking to himself slowly.
After a few minutes, he said 'this girl misses something here.' Then her friends told that person about her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened the grave box and place her phone and sim card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the body. It was then moved easily and they then carried her into the van.
All of us were shocked. Priya's parents did not inform Shankar that Priya had passed away..
After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom.....
Shankar :....'Aunty, I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me.
Don't tell Priya that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her.'
Her mother replied..... 'You come home first, I wanna tell you something
very
important.'
After he came, they told him the truth about Priya. Shankar thinks that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said 'don't try to fool me - tell Priya to come out, i have a gift for her. Please stop this face nonsense'.
Then they show him the original death certificate to him.
They gave him proof to make him believe. (Shankar started to sweat) He
said... 'Its not true. We spoke yesterday.. She still calls me.
Shankar was shaking.
Suddenly, Shankar's phone rang. 'see this is from Priya, see this....'
he showed the phone to priya's family. all of them told him to answer. he
talked using the loudspeaker mode..
All of them heard his conversation.
Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming..
It is the actual voice of Priya & there is no way others could use her sim
card since it is nailed inside the grave box
They were so shocked and asked
for the same person's
(who can speak with the soul of deal persons) help again. He brought his
master to solve this matter.
He & his master
worked for 5 hours.
Then they discovered one thing which really shocked them....
Vodafone has the best coverage.
'Where ever you go, our network follows!!!'
Be Alert & Cautious when you are given a name card by a total stranger on the street!
A man came over and offeredhis services as a painter to a female putting gas in her car and left his card. She said no ,but accepted his card out of kindness and got in the car.The man then got into a car driven by another gentleman. As the lady left the service station, she saw the men following her out of the station at the same time. Almost immediately, she started to feel dizzy and could not catch her breath. She tried to open the window and realized that the odor was on her hand; the same hand which accepted the card from the gentleman at the gas station.
She then noticed the men wereimmediately behind her and she felt she needed to do something
at that moment. She drove into the first driveway and began to honk her horn repeatedly to ask for help.The men drove away but the lady still felt pretty bad for severalminutes after she could finally catch her breath. Apparently,there was a substance on the card that could have seriously injured her.
This drug is called 'BURUNDANGA'and it is used by people who wish to incapacitate a victim in orderto steal from or take advantage of them.
This drug is four times more dangerous than the date rape drug and is transferable on simple cards.
So take heed and make sureyou don't accept cards at any given time alone or from someone on the streets. This applies to those making house calls and slipping you a card when they offer their services .
She then noticed the men wereimmediately behind her and she felt she needed to do something
at that moment. She drove into the first driveway and began to honk her horn repeatedly to ask for help.The men drove away but the lady still felt pretty bad for severalminutes after she could finally catch her breath. Apparently,there was a substance on the card that could have seriously injured her.
This drug is called 'BURUNDANGA'and it is used by people who wish to incapacitate a victim in orderto steal from or take advantage of them.
This drug is four times more dangerous than the date rape drug and is transferable on simple cards.
So take heed and make sureyou don't accept cards at any given time alone or from someone on the streets. This applies to those making house calls and slipping you a card when they offer their services .
HEART BLOCK
For Heart Vein opening
1) Lemon juice 01 cup
2) Ginger juice 01 cup
3) Garlic juice 01 cup
4) Apple vinegar 01 cup
Mix all above and boil in light flame approximately half
hour, when it becomes 3 cups, take it out and keep it
for cooling. After cooling, mix 3 cups of natural honey
and keep it in bottle.
Every morning before breakfast use one Table spoon
regularly. Your blockage of Vein's will open
(No need any Angiography or By pass)
This is e-mail received from a person working in a Software Company
Dear colleagues, I am working in Blore Software City ....... I wanted to share an incident of my life with you, hoping that it may be an eye opener to you so that you can live more years.
On 27th October afternoon, I had severe heart attack symptom and I was rushed to the hospital.
After reaching to the hospital, the doctors prescribed a test called angiogram. This test is basically to identify blood flow of heart arteries. When they finished the test they found a 94% block in the main artery, please see the image below with red circle.
At this point, I wanted to share my living style, which has caused this block in my heart arteries. Please see the below points of my life style, if any of these points are part of your life style then you are at risk, please change yourselves.
1. I was not doing any physical exercise for more than 10 years , not even walking 30 minutes a day for years.
2. My food timings are 11:00 AM Breakfast or no Breakfast, 3:00 PM to 4:00 PM Lunch and dinner at 11:00 PM to 12:00 AM.
3. Sleeping in very odd timings, going to bed between 12:00 AM and 3:00 AM. Waking up at between 9:00 AM and 10:30AM ........ Some times spending sleepless nights.
4. I used to eat heavily because of long gaps between lunch and dinner and I used to make sure that Non-Veg is available most of the time, there were times when I did survey on city hotels to find delicious Non-Veg dishes. I was never interested in vegetable and healthier food.
5. Above all I was chain smoker from years.
6. My father passed away due to heart problems, and the doctors say the heart problems are usually genetic.
Once they identified the major block they have done immediately a procedure called angioplasty along with 2 Stints, mean they will insert a foreign body into the heart arteries and open the blocked area of arteries. Please see the below image after the procedure.
I learnt from the doctors that 60% people will die before reaching the hospital,20% people will die in the process of recovering from heart attack and only 20% will survive .. In my case, I was very lucky to be part of the last 20%.
Doctors instructions:
1. Need to have physical exercise for minimum of 45 minutes daily.
2. Eat your food at perfect timings, like how you eat during your school days. Eat in small quantities more times and have lot of vegetables and boiled food, try to avoid fry items and oily food. Fish is good than other non-vegetarian food.
3. Sleep for 8 hours a day, this count should complete before sun rising.
4. Stop smoking.
5. Genetic problems, we cannot avoid but we can get away from it by having regular checkups.
6. Find a way to get relived from the stress (Yoga, Meditation etc).
So I urge you all to please avoid getting into this situation, it is in your hands to turn the situation up side down, by just planning / changing your life style, by following simple points above.
1) Lemon juice 01 cup
2) Ginger juice 01 cup
3) Garlic juice 01 cup
4) Apple vinegar 01 cup
Mix all above and boil in light flame approximately half
hour, when it becomes 3 cups, take it out and keep it
for cooling. After cooling, mix 3 cups of natural honey
and keep it in bottle.
Every morning before breakfast use one Table spoon
regularly. Your blockage of Vein's will open
(No need any Angiography or By pass)
This is e-mail received from a person working in a Software Company
Dear colleagues, I am working in Blore Software City ....... I wanted to share an incident of my life with you, hoping that it may be an eye opener to you so that you can live more years.
On 27th October afternoon, I had severe heart attack symptom and I was rushed to the hospital.
After reaching to the hospital, the doctors prescribed a test called angiogram. This test is basically to identify blood flow of heart arteries. When they finished the test they found a 94% block in the main artery, please see the image below with red circle.
At this point, I wanted to share my living style, which has caused this block in my heart arteries. Please see the below points of my life style, if any of these points are part of your life style then you are at risk, please change yourselves.
1. I was not doing any physical exercise for more than 10 years , not even walking 30 minutes a day for years.
2. My food timings are 11:00 AM Breakfast or no Breakfast, 3:00 PM to 4:00 PM Lunch and dinner at 11:00 PM to 12:00 AM.
3. Sleeping in very odd timings, going to bed between 12:00 AM and 3:00 AM. Waking up at between 9:00 AM and 10:30AM ........ Some times spending sleepless nights.
4. I used to eat heavily because of long gaps between lunch and dinner and I used to make sure that Non-Veg is available most of the time, there were times when I did survey on city hotels to find delicious Non-Veg dishes. I was never interested in vegetable and healthier food.
5. Above all I was chain smoker from years.
6. My father passed away due to heart problems, and the doctors say the heart problems are usually genetic.
Once they identified the major block they have done immediately a procedure called angioplasty along with 2 Stints, mean they will insert a foreign body into the heart arteries and open the blocked area of arteries. Please see the below image after the procedure.
I learnt from the doctors that 60% people will die before reaching the hospital,20% people will die in the process of recovering from heart attack and only 20% will survive .. In my case, I was very lucky to be part of the last 20%.
Doctors instructions:
1. Need to have physical exercise for minimum of 45 minutes daily.
2. Eat your food at perfect timings, like how you eat during your school days. Eat in small quantities more times and have lot of vegetables and boiled food, try to avoid fry items and oily food. Fish is good than other non-vegetarian food.
3. Sleep for 8 hours a day, this count should complete before sun rising.
4. Stop smoking.
5. Genetic problems, we cannot avoid but we can get away from it by having regular checkups.
6. Find a way to get relived from the stress (Yoga, Meditation etc).
So I urge you all to please avoid getting into this situation, it is in your hands to turn the situation up side down, by just planning / changing your life style, by following simple points above.
Open the windows after you enter your car
In brief, the above article says: According to research done by a U.C., the car dashboard, sofa, air freshener will emit Benzene, a cancer causing toxin (carcinogen). In addition to causing cancer, it poisons your bones, causes anemia, and reduces white blood cells. Prolonged exposure will cause Leukemia, increasing the risk of cancer. May also cause miscarriage.
Acceptable Benezene level indoors is 50 mg per sq. ft. A car parked indoors with the windows closed will contain 400-800 mg of Benezene. If parked outdoors under the sun at a temperature above 60 degrees F, the Benezene level goes up to 2000-4000 mg, 40 times the acceptable level. The people inside the car will inevitably inhale an excess amount of the toxin.
It is recommended that you open the windows and door to give time for the interior to air out before you enter. Benzene is a toxin that affects your kidney and liver, and is difficult for your body to expel.
Acceptable Benezene level indoors is 50 mg per sq. ft. A car parked indoors with the windows closed will contain 400-800 mg of Benezene. If parked outdoors under the sun at a temperature above 60 degrees F, the Benezene level goes up to 2000-4000 mg, 40 times the acceptable level. The people inside the car will inevitably inhale an excess amount of the toxin.
It is recommended that you open the windows and door to give time for the interior to air out before you enter. Benzene is a toxin that affects your kidney and liver, and is difficult for your body to expel.
Lessons on Life
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away.
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in
summer, and the youngest son in the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so be au tiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, bec au se they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the be au ty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.
Moral:
Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Don't judge life by one difficult season.
Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or
later.
Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keep You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going!
The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in
summer, and the youngest son in the fall.
When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.
The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted.
The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise.
The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so be au tiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen.
The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment.
The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, bec au se they had each seen but only one season in the tree's life.
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up.
If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the be au ty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.
Moral:
Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.
Don't judge life by one difficult season.
Persevere through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come some time or
later.
Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keep You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But Only God keeps You Going!
cancer
AFTER YEARS OF TELLING PEOPLE CHEMOTHERAPY IS THE ONLY WAY TO TRY (TRY THE KEY WORD) AND ELIMINATE CANCER, JOHN HOPKINS IS FINALLY STARTING TO TELL YOU THERE IS AN ALTERNATIVE WAY .
1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.
3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.
4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.
5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.
8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.
9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.
10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.
11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.
CANCER CELLS FEED ON:
a.. Sugar, is a cancer-feeder.
By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like Nutrasweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt. ( THE WEST MADE US 2 CHANGE FROM SEA 2 WHITE IODISED SALT ).
b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro- intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus.
By cutting off milk and substituting with unswe etened soya milk cancer cells are being starved.
c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment.
A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful,especially to people with cancer.
d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment.
About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).
e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine.
Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water- best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.
12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.
13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.
14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Florssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins,minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.
15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor.
Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.
16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.
PLEASE READ ON :
1. No plastic containers in micro.
2. No water bottles in freezer.
3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This info is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer.
Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.
Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital was on a TV program to explain this health hazard.
He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat.
He said that the combination of f at, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body.
Instead, he recommends using glass, such as CorningWare, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food.
You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.
Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.
1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable size.
2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's lifetime.
3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumors.
4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.
5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and including supplements will strengthen the immune system.
6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly growing cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow, gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.
7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages healthy cells, tissues and organs.
8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not result in more tumor destruction.
9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.
10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer cells to spread to other sites.
11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.
CANCER CELLS FEED ON:
a.. Sugar, is a cancer-feeder.
By cutting off sugar it cuts off one important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like Nutrasweet, Equal, Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses but only in very small amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt. ( THE WEST MADE US 2 CHANGE FROM SEA 2 WHITE IODISED SALT ).
b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the gastro- intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus.
By cutting off milk and substituting with unswe etened soya milk cancer cells are being starved.
c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment.
A meat-based diet is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones and parasites, which are all harmful,especially to people with cancer.
d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains, seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment.
About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts) and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).
e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine.
Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties. Water- best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.
12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrified and leads to more toxic buildup.
13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from or eating less meat it frees more enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's killer cells to destroy the cancer cells.
14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Florssence, Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins,minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded cells.
15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body and spirit. A proactive and positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor.
Anger, unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax and enjoy life.
16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.
PLEASE READ ON :
1. No plastic containers in micro.
2. No water bottles in freezer.
3. No plastic wrap in microwave.
Johns Hopkins has recently sent this out in its newsletters. This info is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center as well. Dioxin chemicals causes cancer, especially breast cancer.
Dioxins are highly poisonous to the cells of our bodies. Don't freeze your plastic bottles with water in them as this releases dioxins from the plastic.
Recently, Dr. Edward Fujimoto, Wellness Program Manager at Castle Hospital was on a TV program to explain this health hazard.
He talked about dioxins and how bad they are for us. He said that we should not be heating our food in the microwave using plastic containers. This especially applies to foods that contain fat.
He said that the combination of f at, high heat, and plastics releases dioxin into the food and ultimately into the cells of the body.
Instead, he recommends using glass, such as CorningWare, Pyrex or ceramic containers for heating food.
You get the same results, only without the dioxin. So such things as TV dinners, instant ramen and soups, etc., should be removed from the container and heated in something else. Paper isn't bad but you don't know what is in the paper. It's just safer to use tempered glass, Corning Ware, etc. He reminded us that a while ago some of the fast food restaurants moved away from the foam containers to paper. The dioxin problem is one of the reasons.
Also, he pointed out that plastic wrap, such as Saran, is just as dangerous when placed over foods to be cooked in the microwave. As the food is nuked, the high heat causes poisonous toxins to actually melt out of the plastic wrap and drip into the food. Cover food with a paper towel instead.
Giant Egg billboard for McDonald's
The super creative Leo Burnett ad agency, Chicago created this awesome beyond words Giant Egg billboard for McDonald's. It was installed last week across from Wrigley field in Chicago.
The giant egg billboard starts cracking and opening up in the wee hours of morning. By breakfast time, the egg has already hatched, and you can see "Fresh Eggs Daily" written on the egg's yolk.
The egg stays open from 6:00AM till 10:30AM, to indicate the availability of fresh eggs during that time. Once the breakfast time is finished, the egg billboard shuts and stays closed as a whole egg till the next morning.
The mechanical engineering of the billboard was handled by Prop Art Studio, MMT.
Business Logic 2: What is Marketing?
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, 'I am very rich. Marry me!'
That's Direct Marketing
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, 'He's very rich. Marry him.'
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, 'Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me.'
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, 'By the way, I'm very rich 'Will you marry me?'
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, 'You are very rich, I want to marry you.'
That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, 'I'm rich. Marry me'
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback
You go up to her and say, 'I am very rich. Marry me!'
That's Direct Marketing
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl.
One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, 'He's very rich. Marry him.'
That's Advertising.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and get her telephone number.
The next day you call and say, 'Hi, I'm very rich. Marry me.'
That's Telemarketing.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
You get up and straighten your tie; you walk up to her and pour her a drink.
You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, 'By the way, I'm very rich 'Will you marry me?'
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl.
She walks up to you and says, 'You are very rich, I want to marry you.'
That's Brand Recognition.
You see a gorgeous girl at a party.
You go up to her and say, 'I'm rich. Marry me'
She gives you a nice hard slap on your face.
That's Customer Feedback
Business Logic 1: How business is done
Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : 'I will choose my own bride!'
Father : 'But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter.'
Son : 'Well, in that case...ok'
Next, Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : 'I have a husband for your daughter.'
Bill Gates : 'But my daughter is too young to marry!'
Father : 'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.'
Bill Gates : 'Ah, in that case...ok'
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : 'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.'
President : 'But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!'
Father : 'But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law.'
President : 'Ah, in that case...ok'
Moral: Even If you have nothing, you can get anything. But your attitude should be positive
Son : 'I will choose my own bride!'
Father : 'But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter.'
Son : 'Well, in that case...ok'
Next, Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father : 'I have a husband for your daughter.'
Bill Gates : 'But my daughter is too young to marry!'
Father : 'But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank.'
Bill Gates : 'Ah, in that case...ok'
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father : 'I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president.'
President : 'But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!'
Father : 'But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law.'
President : 'Ah, in that case...ok'
Moral: Even If you have nothing, you can get anything. But your attitude should be positive
The Banana Test
There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals.
King Kong, an Ape, an Orangutan and a Monkey pass by.
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
Think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds
If your answer is: (highlight the following white column to check the answer)
Orangutan = you're sick
Ape = you need a break
Monkey = worse, you suppose to be in the hospital right now..
King Kong = I think you better take 1 year leave..
King Kong, an Ape, an Orangutan and a Monkey pass by.
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
Think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds
If your answer is: (highlight the following white column to check the answer)
Orangutan = you're sick
Ape = you need a break
Monkey = worse, you suppose to be in the hospital right now..
King Kong = I think you better take 1 year leave..
You have to really be careful these days!
The girl left the office after working hours and saw a little child crying on the road.
Feeling pity for the child, she went to ask what happened.
The child said, 'I am lost. Can you take me home please?'
Then the child gave her a slip of paper and tells the girl where the address is.
The girl, being an average kind person, didn't suspect anything and took the child there.
When they arrived at the 'child's home', the kind hearted girl pressed the door bell, was zapped and passed out due to the bell being wired with high voltage.
The next day when she woke up, she found herself completely naked and in an empty house up in the hills.
There were at least Twenty (20) Condoms thrown all around. She has not even seen her assailants.
That's why nowadays crimes are targeted on kind people like her.
Should the same situation occur, never take the child to the intended place.
Lesson Learned: If the child insists on being taken home, your best choice is to take the child to the police station.
It's the best option.
Feeling pity for the child, she went to ask what happened.
The child said, 'I am lost. Can you take me home please?'
Then the child gave her a slip of paper and tells the girl where the address is.
The girl, being an average kind person, didn't suspect anything and took the child there.
When they arrived at the 'child's home', the kind hearted girl pressed the door bell, was zapped and passed out due to the bell being wired with high voltage.
The next day when she woke up, she found herself completely naked and in an empty house up in the hills.
There were at least Twenty (20) Condoms thrown all around. She has not even seen her assailants.
That's why nowadays crimes are targeted on kind people like her.
Should the same situation occur, never take the child to the intended place.
Lesson Learned: If the child insists on being taken home, your best choice is to take the child to the police station.
It's the best option.
THE PERFECT HUSBAND
Several men are in the locker room of a golfclub. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: 'Hello'
WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the Club?'
MAN: 'Yes'
WOMAN: 'I am at the mall now and found this beautiful coat. It's only RM1,000 Is it OK if I buy it?'
MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'
WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.'
MAN: 'How much?'
WOMAN: 'RM390,000'
MAN: OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'
WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing..the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking RM2,950,000' for it.
MAN: 'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of RM2,800,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra RM150,000 If it's really a pretty good price.'
WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'
MAN: 'Bye! I love you,too.'
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonish ment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'
MAN: 'Hello'
WOMAN: 'Honey, it's me. Are you at the Club?'
MAN: 'Yes'
WOMAN: 'I am at the mall now and found this beautiful coat. It's only RM1,000 Is it OK if I buy it?'
MAN: 'Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.'
WOMAN: 'I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.'
MAN: 'How much?'
WOMAN: 'RM390,000'
MAN: OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.'
WOMAN: 'Great! Oh, and one more thing..the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking RM2,950,000' for it.
MAN: 'Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of RM2,800,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra RM150,000 If it's really a pretty good price.'
WOMAN: 'OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!'
MAN: 'Bye! I love you,too.'
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonish ment, mouths agape.
He turns and asks: 'Anyone know who this phone belongs to?'
皮鞋的来历
很久很久以前，人类都还赤着双脚走路。
有一位国王到某个偏远的乡间旅行，因为路面崎岖不平，有很多碎石头，刺得他的脚又痛又麻。回到王宫后，他下了一道命令，要将国内的所有道路都铺上一层牛皮。他认为这样做，不只是为自己，还可造福他的人民，让大家走路时不再受刺痛之苦。
但即使杀尽国内所有的牛，也筹措不到足够的皮革，而所花费的金钱、动用的人力，更不知凡几。虽然根本做不到，甚至还相当愚蠢，但因为是国王的命令，大家也只能摇头叹息。
一位聪明的仆人大胆向国王提出建言：「国王啊！为什么您要劳师动众，牺牲那么多头牛，花费那么多金钱呢？您何不只用两小片牛皮包住您的脚呢？」国王听了很惊讶，但也当下领悟，于是立刻收回成命，改采这个建议。据说，这就是「皮鞋」的由来。
小哲理：
想改变世界，很难；要改变自己，则较为容易。
与其改变全世界，不如先改变自己--「将自己的双脚包起来」。
改变自己的某些观念和作法，以抵御外来的侵袭。
当自己改变后，眼中的世界自然也就跟着改变了。
如果你希望看到世界改变，那么第一个必须改变的就是自己。
「心若改变，态度就会改变；态度改变，习惯就改变；习惯改变，人生就会改变。」
有一位国王到某个偏远的乡间旅行，因为路面崎岖不平，有很多碎石头，刺得他的脚又痛又麻。回到王宫后，他下了一道命令，要将国内的所有道路都铺上一层牛皮。他认为这样做，不只是为自己，还可造福他的人民，让大家走路时不再受刺痛之苦。
但即使杀尽国内所有的牛，也筹措不到足够的皮革，而所花费的金钱、动用的人力，更不知凡几。虽然根本做不到，甚至还相当愚蠢，但因为是国王的命令，大家也只能摇头叹息。
一位聪明的仆人大胆向国王提出建言：「国王啊！为什么您要劳师动众，牺牲那么多头牛，花费那么多金钱呢？您何不只用两小片牛皮包住您的脚呢？」国王听了很惊讶，但也当下领悟，于是立刻收回成命，改采这个建议。据说，这就是「皮鞋」的由来。
小哲理：
想改变世界，很难；要改变自己，则较为容易。
与其改变全世界，不如先改变自己--「将自己的双脚包起来」。
改变自己的某些观念和作法，以抵御外来的侵袭。
当自己改变后，眼中的世界自然也就跟着改变了。
如果你希望看到世界改变，那么第一个必须改变的就是自己。
「心若改变，态度就会改变；态度改变，习惯就改变；习惯改变，人生就会改变。」
一道终身受用的测试题
你开着一辆车
在一个暴风雨的晚上。
你经过一个站。
有三个人正在焦急的等公共车
一个是快要临死的老人，他需要马上去医院。
一个是医生，他曾救过你的命，你做梦都想报答他。
还有一个女人/男人，她/他是你做梦都想嫁/娶的人，也许错过就没有了。
但你的车只能在坐下一个人，你会如何选择？
>
我不知道这是不是一个对你性格的测试,
因为每一个回答都有他自己的原因。
老人快要死了，你首先应该先救他。
你也想让那个医生上车，因为他救过你，这是个好机会报答他。
还有就是你的梦中情人。错过了这个机会。你可能永远不能遇到一个让你这么心动的人了。
在200个应征者中，只有一个人被雇佣了，他并没有解释他的理由，他只是说了以下的话：
"给医生车钥匙，让他带着老人去医院，而我则留下来陪我的梦中情人一起等公车!'
每个人我认识的人都认为以上的回答是最好的，但没有一个人（包括我在内）一开始就想到。
小哲理：
是否是因为我们从未想过要放弃我们手中已经拥有的优势（车钥匙）?
有时，如果我们能放弃一些我们的固执，狭隘，和一些优势的话，我们可能会得到更多。
在一个暴风雨的晚上。
你经过一个站。
有三个人正在焦急的等公共车
一个是快要临死的老人，他需要马上去医院。
一个是医生，他曾救过你的命，你做梦都想报答他。
还有一个女人/男人，她/他是你做梦都想嫁/娶的人，也许错过就没有了。
但你的车只能在坐下一个人，你会如何选择？
>
我不知道这是不是一个对你性格的测试,
因为每一个回答都有他自己的原因。
老人快要死了，你首先应该先救他。
你也想让那个医生上车，因为他救过你，这是个好机会报答他。
还有就是你的梦中情人。错过了这个机会。你可能永远不能遇到一个让你这么心动的人了。
在200个应征者中，只有一个人被雇佣了，他并没有解释他的理由，他只是说了以下的话：
"给医生车钥匙，让他带着老人去医院，而我则留下来陪我的梦中情人一起等公车!'
每个人我认识的人都认为以上的回答是最好的，但没有一个人（包括我在内）一开始就想到。
小哲理：
是否是因为我们从未想过要放弃我们手中已经拥有的优势（车钥匙）?
有时，如果我们能放弃一些我们的固执，狭隘，和一些优势的话，我们可能会得到更多。
和尚与屠夫
从前有一个和尚跟一个屠夫是好朋友。和尚天天早上要起来念经，而屠夫天天要起来杀猪。
为了不耽误他们早上的工作，是他们约定早上互相叫对方起床。
多年以后，和尚与屠夫相继去世了。屠夫去上天堂了，而和尚却下地狱了。
Why?
因为屠夫天天作善事，叫和尚起来念经，相反地，和尚天天叫屠夫起来杀生……
小哲理：
你做的东西是不是都是你认为对的，却不一定是对的。
为了不耽误他们早上的工作，是他们约定早上互相叫对方起床。
多年以后，和尚与屠夫相继去世了。屠夫去上天堂了，而和尚却下地狱了。
Why?
因为屠夫天天作善事，叫和尚起来念经，相反地，和尚天天叫屠夫起来杀生……
小哲理：
你做的东西是不是都是你认为对的，却不一定是对的。
Interestine Remedy for persistent cough
How to stop cough in 5 minutes!!!
This is a must try....
We have all been kept awake by our own or someone else's cough. Try this and pass it on. The tip and not the cough. ANYTHING is better than antibiotics. Even babies could benefit from this and the parents wouldn't worry about the safety of their child. And of course, it is harmless and free from any type of side-effects.
WOW! I was raised, and raised my kids with Vicks. How come I never knew this? I can't wait for my next cough. Amazing!
READ IT ALL. It works 100 percent of the time, although the scientists at the Canada Research council (who discovered it) aren't sure why.
Treatment:
To stop night time coughing in a child (or an adult, as we found out personally), put Vicks Vapor Rub generously on the bottom of the feet at bedtime and then cover with socks.
Even persistent, heavy, deep coughing will stop in about five minutes and stay stopped for many, many hours of relief. This works 100 percent of the time, and is more effective in children than even very strong prescription cough medicines. In addition it is extremely soothing and comforting and ! they will sleep soundly. I heard the head of the Canada Research Council describe these findings on the part of their scientists when they were investigating the effectiveness and usage of prescription cough medicines in children, as compared to alternative therapies like acupressure. I just happened to tune in to a.m. Radio and picked up this guy talking about why cough medicines in kids often do more harm than good due to the chemical makeup of these strong drugs, so I listened. It was a surprising finding and found to be more effective than prescribed medicines for children at bedtime, and in addition to have a soothing and calming effect on sick children who then went on to sleep soundly.
My wife tried it on herself when she had a very deep constant and persistent co u! gh a few weeks ago, and it worked 100 percent! She said it felt like a warm blanket had enveloped her. The coughing stopped in a few minutes, and believe me this was a deep (incredibly annoying!) every few seconds, uncontrollable cough and she slept cough-free for hours every night she used it.
If you have children or grandchildren, pass it on. If you end up sick, try it yourself and you will be absolutely amazed.
How to stop cough in 5 minutes!!! ? ?This is a must try...
This is a must try....
We have all been kept awake by our own or someone else's cough. Try this and pass it on. The tip and not the cough. ANYTHING is better than antibiotics. Even babies could benefit from this and the parents wouldn't worry about the safety of their child. And of course, it is harmless and free from any type of side-effects.
WOW! I was raised, and raised my kids with Vicks. How come I never knew this? I can't wait for my next cough. Amazing!
READ IT ALL. It works 100 percent of the time, although the scientists at the Canada Research council (who discovered it) aren't sure why.
Treatment:
To stop night time coughing in a child (or an adult, as we found out personally), put Vicks Vapor Rub generously on the bottom of the feet at bedtime and then cover with socks.
Even persistent, heavy, deep coughing will stop in about five minutes and stay stopped for many, many hours of relief. This works 100 percent of the time, and is more effective in children than even very strong prescription cough medicines. In addition it is extremely soothing and comforting and ! they will sleep soundly. I heard the head of the Canada Research Council describe these findings on the part of their scientists when they were investigating the effectiveness and usage of prescription cough medicines in children, as compared to alternative therapies like acupressure. I just happened to tune in to a.m. Radio and picked up this guy talking about why cough medicines in kids often do more harm than good due to the chemical makeup of these strong drugs, so I listened. It was a surprising finding and found to be more effective than prescribed medicines for children at bedtime, and in addition to have a soothing and calming effect on sick children who then went on to sleep soundly.
My wife tried it on herself when she had a very deep constant and persistent co u! gh a few weeks ago, and it worked 100 percent! She said it felt like a warm blanket had enveloped her. The coughing stopped in a few minutes, and believe me this was a deep (incredibly annoying!) every few seconds, uncontrollable cough and she slept cough-free for hours every night she used it.
If you have children or grandchildren, pass it on. If you end up sick, try it yourself and you will be absolutely amazed.
How to stop cough in 5 minutes!!! ? ?This is a must try...
感恩心孝顺父母
媳妇说：'煮淡一点你就嫌没有味道，现在煮咸一点你却说咽不下。你究竟怎想怎么样？'
母亲一见儿子回来，二话不说便把饭菜往嘴里送。
她怒瞪他一眼。他试了一口，马上吐出来， 儿子说：'我不是说过了吗，妈有病不能吃太咸！'
'那好！妈是你的，以后由你来煮！ '媳妇怒气冲冲地回房。
儿子无奈地轻叹一声，然后对母亲说：'妈，别吃了，我去煮个面给？'
'仔，你是不是有话想跟妈说，是就说好了，别憋在心里！'
'妈，公司下个月升我职，我会很忙，至于老婆，她说很想出来工作，所以......'
母亲马上意识到儿子的意思：'仔，不要送妈去老人院。'声音似乎在哀求。
儿子沉默片刻，他是在寻找更好的理由。 '妈，其实老人院并没有甚么不好？知道老婆一但工作，一定没有时间好好服侍。老人院有吃有住有人服侍照顾，不是比在家里好得多吗？'
'可是，阿财叔他......'
洗了澡，草草吃了一碗方便面，儿子便到书房去。他茫然地伫立于窗前，有些犹豫不决。母亲年轻便守寡，含辛茹苦将他抚养成人，供他出国读书。但她从不用年轻时的牺牲当作要胁他孝顺的筹码，反而是妻子以婚姻要胁他！真的要让母亲住老人院吗？他问自己，他有些不忍。
'可以陪你下半世的人是你老婆，难道是你妈吗？'阿财叔的儿子总是这样提醒他。
'你妈都这么老了，好命的话可以活多几年，为何不趁这几年好好孝顺她呢？树欲静而风不息，子欲养而亲不在啊！' 亲戚总是这样劝他。儿子不敢再想下去，深怕自己真的会改变初衷。
晚，太阳收敛起灼热的金光，躲在山后憩息。一间建在郊外山岗的一座贵族老人院。
是的，钱用得越多，儿子才心安理得。当儿子领着母亲步入大厅时，崭新的电视机，42英寸的荧幕正播放着一部喜剧，但观众一点笑声也没有。
几 个衣着一样，发型一样的老妪歪歪斜斜地坐在发沙上，神情呆滞而落寞。有个老人在自言自语，有个正缓缓弯下腰，想去捡掉在地上的一块饼干吃。儿子知道母亲喜 欢光亮，所以为她选了一间阳光充足的房间。从窗口望出去，树荫下，一片芳草如茵。几名护士推着坐在轮椅的老者在夕阳下散步，四周悄然寂静得令人心酸。纵是 夕阳无限好，毕竟已到了黄昏，他心中低低叹息。
' 妈，我......我要走了！'母亲只能点头。他走时，母亲频频挥手，她张着没有牙的嘴，苍白干燥的咀唇在嗫嚅着，一副欲语还休的样子。儿子这才注意到母亲银灰色的头发，深陷的眼窝以及打着细褶的皱脸。母亲，真的老了！
他霍然记起一则儿时旧事。那年他才 6岁，母亲有事回乡，不便携他同行，于是把他寄住在阿财叔家几天。母亲临走时，他惊恐地抱着母亲的腿不肯放，伤心大声号哭道：'妈妈不要丢下我！妈妈不要走！' 最后母亲没有丢下他。他连忙离开房间，顺手把门关上，不敢回头，深恐那记忆像鬼魅似地追缠而来。
他回到家，妻子与岳母正疯狂的把母亲房里的一切扔个不亦乐乎。身高3英寸的奖杯──那是他小学作文比赛《我的母亲》第1名的胜利品！华英字典──那是母亲整个月省吃省用所买给他的第1份生日礼物！还有母亲临睡前要擦的风湿油，没有他为她擦，带去老人院又有甚么意义呢？
'够了，别再扔了！'儿子怒吼道。
'这么多垃圾，不把它扔掉，怎么放得下我的东西。' 岳母没好气地说。
' 就是嘛！你赶快把你妈那张烂床给抬出去，我明天要为我妈添张新的！'
一堆童年的照片展现在儿子眼前，那是母亲带他到动物园和游乐园拍的照片。
'它们是我妈的财产，一样也不能丢！'
'你这算甚态度？对我妈这么大声，我要你向我妈道歉！ ' (楼主注：这算什么儿子，把自己的母亲送到养老院，然后把岳母接来住，要就一起去送，要就留自己的母亲）
'我娶你就要爱你的母亲，为甚么？嫁给我就不能爱我的母亲？'
雨 后的黑夜分外冷寂，街道萧瑟，行人车辆格外稀少。一辆宝马在路上飞驰，频频闯红灯，陷黄格，呼一声又飞驰而过。那辆轿车一路奔往山岗上的那间老人院，停车 直奔上楼，推开母亲卧房的门。他幽灵似地站着，母亲正抚摸着风湿痛的双腿低泣。她见到儿子手中正拿着那瓶风湿油，显然感到安慰的说： '妈忘了带，幸好你拿来！'他走到母亲身边，跪了下来。 '很晚了，
妈自己擦可以了，你明天还要上班，回去吧！'
他嗫嚅片刻，终于忍不住啜泣道：'妈，对不起，请原谅我！我们回家去吧！'
～～后语～～
随着自己愈长大，看着父母亲脸庞从年轻变憔悴，头发从乌丝变白发,动作从迅捷变缓慢，多心疼！父母亲总是将最好、最宝贵的留给我们，像蜡烛不停的燃烧自己，照亮孩子！而我呢？有没有腾出一个空间给我的父母，或者只是在当我需要停泊岸时，才会想起他们 ......
其实父母亲要的真的不多，只是一句随意的问候「爸、妈，你们今天好吗？」随意买的宵夜，煮一顿再普通不过的晚餐，睡前帮他们盖盖被子，天冷帮他们添衣服、戴手套....都能让他们高兴温馨很久。有时，我常在想：我希望我的子女以后如何对我。那现在，我有没有如此对待我的父母？我相信，人是环环相扣的；现在，你如何对待你的父母；以后，你的子女就如何待你。
朋友，人世间最难报的就是父母恩，愿我们都能：以反哺之心奉敬父母，以之感恩心孝顺父母！
～共勉之～
生命不要求我们成为最好的，只要求我们作最大的努力！
老人安养院墙上发现的一篇文章
孩子！当你还很小的时候，我花了很多时间，教你慢慢用汤匙、用筷子吃东西。教你系鞋带、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳头发、拧鼻涕。这些和你在一起的点点滴滴，是多么的令我怀念不已。所以，当我想不起来，接不上话时，请给我一点时间，等我一下，让我再想一想......极 可能最后连要说什么，我也一并忘记。孩子！你忘记我们练习了好几百回，才学会的第一首娃娃歌吗？是否还记得每天总要我绞尽脑汁，去回答不知道你从哪里冒出 来的吗？所以，当我重复又重复说着老掉牙的故事，哼着我孩提时代的儿歌时，体谅我。让我继续沉醉在这些回忆中吧！切望你，也能陪着我闲话家常吧！孩子，现 在我常忘了扣扣子、系鞋带。吃饭时，会弄脏衣服，梳头发时手还会不停的抖，不要催促我，要对我多一点耐心和温柔，只要有你在一起，就会有很多的温暖涌上心 头。
孩子！如今，我的脚站也站不稳，走也走不动。所以，请你紧紧的握着我的手，陪着我，慢慢的。就像当年一样，我带着你一步一步地走。
若为人子女也不懂得如何体谅他们，那他们便只能于痛苦中渡过余生，黑暗中逝去......
请把此文章转发给您的朋友，让他们知道家人才是最重要的。爱情可以重新再找寻，但父母一生却只有一个，要珍惜、珍重。
如果此贴让你感动，如果你是一个孝顺有良知的人，如果你想老爸老妈有个幸福的晚年就回帖吧 。祝回帖的朋友的父母--身体健康，长命百岁，一生平安！！！！！！
母亲一见儿子回来，二话不说便把饭菜往嘴里送。
她怒瞪他一眼。他试了一口，马上吐出来， 儿子说：'我不是说过了吗，妈有病不能吃太咸！'
'那好！妈是你的，以后由你来煮！ '媳妇怒气冲冲地回房。
儿子无奈地轻叹一声，然后对母亲说：'妈，别吃了，我去煮个面给？'
'仔，你是不是有话想跟妈说，是就说好了，别憋在心里！'
'妈，公司下个月升我职，我会很忙，至于老婆，她说很想出来工作，所以......'
母亲马上意识到儿子的意思：'仔，不要送妈去老人院。'声音似乎在哀求。
儿子沉默片刻，他是在寻找更好的理由。 '妈，其实老人院并没有甚么不好？知道老婆一但工作，一定没有时间好好服侍。老人院有吃有住有人服侍照顾，不是比在家里好得多吗？'
'可是，阿财叔他......'
洗了澡，草草吃了一碗方便面，儿子便到书房去。他茫然地伫立于窗前，有些犹豫不决。母亲年轻便守寡，含辛茹苦将他抚养成人，供他出国读书。但她从不用年轻时的牺牲当作要胁他孝顺的筹码，反而是妻子以婚姻要胁他！真的要让母亲住老人院吗？他问自己，他有些不忍。
'可以陪你下半世的人是你老婆，难道是你妈吗？'阿财叔的儿子总是这样提醒他。
'你妈都这么老了，好命的话可以活多几年，为何不趁这几年好好孝顺她呢？树欲静而风不息，子欲养而亲不在啊！' 亲戚总是这样劝他。儿子不敢再想下去，深怕自己真的会改变初衷。
晚，太阳收敛起灼热的金光，躲在山后憩息。一间建在郊外山岗的一座贵族老人院。
是的，钱用得越多，儿子才心安理得。当儿子领着母亲步入大厅时，崭新的电视机，42英寸的荧幕正播放着一部喜剧，但观众一点笑声也没有。
几 个衣着一样，发型一样的老妪歪歪斜斜地坐在发沙上，神情呆滞而落寞。有个老人在自言自语，有个正缓缓弯下腰，想去捡掉在地上的一块饼干吃。儿子知道母亲喜 欢光亮，所以为她选了一间阳光充足的房间。从窗口望出去，树荫下，一片芳草如茵。几名护士推着坐在轮椅的老者在夕阳下散步，四周悄然寂静得令人心酸。纵是 夕阳无限好，毕竟已到了黄昏，他心中低低叹息。
' 妈，我......我要走了！'母亲只能点头。他走时，母亲频频挥手，她张着没有牙的嘴，苍白干燥的咀唇在嗫嚅着，一副欲语还休的样子。儿子这才注意到母亲银灰色的头发，深陷的眼窝以及打着细褶的皱脸。母亲，真的老了！
他霍然记起一则儿时旧事。那年他才 6岁，母亲有事回乡，不便携他同行，于是把他寄住在阿财叔家几天。母亲临走时，他惊恐地抱着母亲的腿不肯放，伤心大声号哭道：'妈妈不要丢下我！妈妈不要走！' 最后母亲没有丢下他。他连忙离开房间，顺手把门关上，不敢回头，深恐那记忆像鬼魅似地追缠而来。
他回到家，妻子与岳母正疯狂的把母亲房里的一切扔个不亦乐乎。身高3英寸的奖杯──那是他小学作文比赛《我的母亲》第1名的胜利品！华英字典──那是母亲整个月省吃省用所买给他的第1份生日礼物！还有母亲临睡前要擦的风湿油，没有他为她擦，带去老人院又有甚么意义呢？
'够了，别再扔了！'儿子怒吼道。
'这么多垃圾，不把它扔掉，怎么放得下我的东西。' 岳母没好气地说。
' 就是嘛！你赶快把你妈那张烂床给抬出去，我明天要为我妈添张新的！'
一堆童年的照片展现在儿子眼前，那是母亲带他到动物园和游乐园拍的照片。
'它们是我妈的财产，一样也不能丢！'
'你这算甚态度？对我妈这么大声，我要你向我妈道歉！ ' (楼主注：这算什么儿子，把自己的母亲送到养老院，然后把岳母接来住，要就一起去送，要就留自己的母亲）
'我娶你就要爱你的母亲，为甚么？嫁给我就不能爱我的母亲？'
雨 后的黑夜分外冷寂，街道萧瑟，行人车辆格外稀少。一辆宝马在路上飞驰，频频闯红灯，陷黄格，呼一声又飞驰而过。那辆轿车一路奔往山岗上的那间老人院，停车 直奔上楼，推开母亲卧房的门。他幽灵似地站着，母亲正抚摸着风湿痛的双腿低泣。她见到儿子手中正拿着那瓶风湿油，显然感到安慰的说： '妈忘了带，幸好你拿来！'他走到母亲身边，跪了下来。 '很晚了，
妈自己擦可以了，你明天还要上班，回去吧！'
他嗫嚅片刻，终于忍不住啜泣道：'妈，对不起，请原谅我！我们回家去吧！'
～～后语～～
随着自己愈长大，看着父母亲脸庞从年轻变憔悴，头发从乌丝变白发,动作从迅捷变缓慢，多心疼！父母亲总是将最好、最宝贵的留给我们，像蜡烛不停的燃烧自己，照亮孩子！而我呢？有没有腾出一个空间给我的父母，或者只是在当我需要停泊岸时，才会想起他们 ......
其实父母亲要的真的不多，只是一句随意的问候「爸、妈，你们今天好吗？」随意买的宵夜，煮一顿再普通不过的晚餐，睡前帮他们盖盖被子，天冷帮他们添衣服、戴手套....都能让他们高兴温馨很久。有时，我常在想：我希望我的子女以后如何对我。那现在，我有没有如此对待我的父母？我相信，人是环环相扣的；现在，你如何对待你的父母；以后，你的子女就如何待你。
朋友，人世间最难报的就是父母恩，愿我们都能：以反哺之心奉敬父母，以之感恩心孝顺父母！
～共勉之～
生命不要求我们成为最好的，只要求我们作最大的努力！
老人安养院墙上发现的一篇文章
孩子！当你还很小的时候，我花了很多时间，教你慢慢用汤匙、用筷子吃东西。教你系鞋带、扣扣子、溜滑梯、教你穿衣服、梳头发、拧鼻涕。这些和你在一起的点点滴滴，是多么的令我怀念不已。所以，当我想不起来，接不上话时，请给我一点时间，等我一下，让我再想一想......极 可能最后连要说什么，我也一并忘记。孩子！你忘记我们练习了好几百回，才学会的第一首娃娃歌吗？是否还记得每天总要我绞尽脑汁，去回答不知道你从哪里冒出 来的吗？所以，当我重复又重复说着老掉牙的故事，哼着我孩提时代的儿歌时，体谅我。让我继续沉醉在这些回忆中吧！切望你，也能陪着我闲话家常吧！孩子，现 在我常忘了扣扣子、系鞋带。吃饭时，会弄脏衣服，梳头发时手还会不停的抖，不要催促我，要对我多一点耐心和温柔，只要有你在一起，就会有很多的温暖涌上心 头。
孩子！如今，我的脚站也站不稳，走也走不动。所以，请你紧紧的握着我的手，陪着我，慢慢的。就像当年一样，我带着你一步一步地走。
若为人子女也不懂得如何体谅他们，那他们便只能于痛苦中渡过余生，黑暗中逝去......
请把此文章转发给您的朋友，让他们知道家人才是最重要的。爱情可以重新再找寻，但父母一生却只有一个，要珍惜、珍重。
如果此贴让你感动，如果你是一个孝顺有良知的人，如果你想老爸老妈有个幸福的晚年就回帖吧 。祝回帖的朋友的父母--身体健康，长命百岁，一生平安！！！！！！
小学生造句
1.题目: 原来
小朋友写: 原来他是我爸爸。
老师评语: 妈妈关切一下
14.题目: 好 ... 又好..
小朋友写: 妈妈的腿 ,好细又好粗...
老师评语: 那到底是细还是粗？
15.题目: 陆陆续续
小朋友写 : 下班了，爸爸陆陆续续的回来。
老师评语: 你到底有几个爸爸呀?
22. 题目: 谢谢....因为 ......
小朋友写: 我要谢谢妈妈,因为她每天都帮我写作业......
老师评语: 原来你的作业是妈妈写的!!!!!!!
23. 题目: 难过
小朋友写: 我家门前有条水沟很难过。
老师评语: 老师更难过......
26. 题目 : 天才
小朋友写: 我３天才洗一次澡。
老师评语: 要每天洗才干净~~
27.題目 : 一… 便…
小朋友写: 哥哥一吃完饭，就大便。
老师评语: 造句不要乱造...
31.題目: 又.....又.....
小朋友寫: 我的妈妈又矮又高又瘦又肥。
老师评语: 你妈妈......是怪物吗?
34.題目: 好吃
小朋友：好吃个屁
老师：………
35. 題目: 况且
小朋友：一辆火车经过，况且况且况且况且．．．．．
老师：……………
小朋友写: 原来他是我爸爸。
老师评语: 妈妈关切一下
14.题目: 好 ... 又好..
小朋友写: 妈妈的腿 ,好细又好粗...
老师评语: 那到底是细还是粗？
15.题目: 陆陆续续
小朋友写 : 下班了，爸爸陆陆续续的回来。
老师评语: 你到底有几个爸爸呀?
22. 题目: 谢谢....因为 ......
小朋友写: 我要谢谢妈妈,因为她每天都帮我写作业......
老师评语: 原来你的作业是妈妈写的!!!!!!!
23. 题目: 难过
小朋友写: 我家门前有条水沟很难过。
老师评语: 老师更难过......
26. 题目 : 天才
小朋友写: 我３天才洗一次澡。
老师评语: 要每天洗才干净~~
27.題目 : 一… 便…
小朋友写: 哥哥一吃完饭，就大便。
老师评语: 造句不要乱造...
31.題目: 又.....又.....
小朋友寫: 我的妈妈又矮又高又瘦又肥。
老师评语: 你妈妈......是怪物吗?
34.題目: 好吃
小朋友：好吃个屁
老师：………
35. 題目: 况且
小朋友：一辆火车经过，况且况且况且况且．．．．．
老师：……………
Golden-needle-mushroom (Jin-Gen-Gu 金根菇)
Golden-needle-mushroom (Jin-Gen-Gu) successfully kills 95% of cancer cells( Taiwan Report)
Research done by Singapore U shows that eating this mushroom can destroy 95% of cancer cells in our body by boosting our immune system.
Professor Phan Hwai Chong of Yang Ming Research Centre in Taiwan told Reporter that consuming this kind of mushroom, one of the ingredients in the
mushroom can trigger the multiplication of our healthy 'defensive' cells. By out-numbering the cancer cells, healthy cells help eradicate cancer cells.
American scientists have since run tests on this particular type of mushroom extract with blood, done outside human body. Results show that mushroom extract is able to destroy cancer cells.
According to Taiwan professor, since healthy 'fighting' cells can be multiplied to tens & thousands of times, it can either be used as drip or just by eating mushroom.
The mushroom is most frequently taken with steam boat. Cooking time should be less than 3 minutes, or the healing property would greatly diminish.
Watch TV from internet
If you have a fast broadband connection, access below website to watch local tv channels from all over the world.
So far, some of the tv channels tested are coming up well. Not a bad alternative to watch overseas tv channels when you have the time to spare.
Enjoy...
http://www.see.tv/
So far, some of the tv channels tested are coming up well. Not a bad alternative to watch overseas tv channels when you have the time to spare.
Enjoy...
http://www.see.tv/
CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX!!!!
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent 12 Calories
Without her consent 2,187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands 8 Calories
With one hand 12 Calories
With your teeth 485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection 6 Calories
Without an erection 3,315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary 12 Calories
69 lying down 78 Calories
69 standing up 812 Calories
Wheelbarrow 216 Calories
Doggy Style 326 Calories
Italian chandelier 2,912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real 112 Calories
Fake 1,315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging 18 Calories
Getting up immediately 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately 816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years 36 Calories
30-39 years 80 Calories
40-49 years 124 Calories
50-59 years 1,972 Calories
60-69 years 7,916 Calories
70 and over Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.. 32 Calories
In a hurry 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door 5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door 13,521 Calories
Results may vary!
THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD
Right now, as you read this,
69 Million Americans are having SEX!
And you're on the computer!!!
With her consent 12 Calories
Without her consent 2,187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands 8 Calories
With one hand 12 Calories
With your teeth 485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection 6 Calories
Without an erection 3,315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary 12 Calories
69 lying down 78 Calories
69 standing up 812 Calories
Wheelbarrow 216 Calories
Doggy Style 326 Calories
Italian chandelier 2,912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real 112 Calories
Fake 1,315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging 18 Calories
Getting up immediately 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately 816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years 36 Calories
30-39 years 80 Calories
40-49 years 124 Calories
50-59 years 1,972 Calories
60-69 years 7,916 Calories
70 and over Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.. 32 Calories
In a hurry 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door 5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door 13,521 Calories
Results may vary!
THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD
Right now, as you read this,
69 Million Americans are having SEX!
And you're on the computer!!!
Jimatkan Petrol dengan Ubat Gegat ??
(Petua Jimat)
Memandangkan hari ini harga petrol yang tinggi disebabkan kenaikan harga minyak global dan faktor-faktor lain, maka bermacamlah cara dilakukan untuk penjimatan petrol yang optima. Antaranya menggunakan pil fuel saver. Nampaknya sekarang kereta pun ada pil tersendiri.. Kaedah ini memang terbukti berkesan tetapi harga pil itu juga mahal dan kalau dikira tolak campur.. pi mai pi mai tang tu jugak… still kena keluar duit bergelen-gelen.
Ok.. sebenarnya ada satu cara istimewa yang diadaptasi daripada penggunaan pil penjimat petrol fuel saver tersebut… Mengikut kajian dan eksperimen oleh sekumpulan engineer syarikat automotive dan benda ni telah pon dibuktikan oleh mereka.. Iaitu kita boleh mengunakan UBAT GEGAT sebagai alternatif kepada penggunaan pil fuel saver. Ubat gegat yang dimaksudkan ialah yang berbentuk pil sebesar ibu jari tangan… yang kebiasaannya kita letak dalam almari atau laci untuk elakkan daripada serangga seperti lipas dan semut. Ubat gegat ini boleh didapati secara mudah dan murah dimana-mana pasar raya dan kedai runcit..
Cara-cara penggunaannya begini yang mesti diikut untuk kesan penjimatan yang optima,
* Pergi mana-mana stesen minyak untuk mengisi petrol dan pastikan memilih jenis unleaded(tanpa plumbum) sahaja.
* Sila buat isian sepenuh mungkin tangki minyak kereta anda.. sebabnya kita tidak mahu ada ruang udara dalam tangki minyak… cuba minimumkan atau kalau boleh tidak ada langsung ruang udara..
* Bila tangki sudah penuh dengan petrol, anda terus memasukkan 2 biji ubat gegat yang berbentuk pil tadi kedalam tangki minyak dan tutup dengan ketat secepat mungkin… tujuannya nak kurangkan tidakbalas dengan gas dalam udara.
* Ok lepas itu anda boleh pandu macam biasa.. dan pastikan anda telah resetkan meter mileage anda kepada zero untuk anda melihat keajaiban hasilnya nanti.
Cara ini telah terbukti berkesan menjimatkan 25%-30% pengunaan petrol oleh kereta anda dan tidak ada kesan sampingan langsung, malahan fungsi ubat gegat tadi adalah 99% sama dengan pil fuel saver yang dijual dipasaran..bezanya cuma bentuk fuel saver yang lebih kecil. Selamat mencuba..
Testimoni :
Memang betol pasal kawan saya dan saya dah bertahun2 mengunakkannya. .Mula saya x percaya,tapi mmng dia tiap kali balik penang dari melaka dia masokkan 2 biji dalam 4 wheel dia.Saya x slalu long distance tapi skali2 saya gunakkan.Tak der pon meletop.Very effective untuk long distance. x caya contact saya 019 6602930
aku dah cuba kt keta aku dan keta bini aku. mmg jimat dan terbukti! ubat gegat x mendatangkan kesan sampingan! ramai yg x tahu psl kelebihan ubat ni. pada mulanya aku x percaya. memandangkan harga petrol dh naik dan membebankan rakyat skrg, aku xde pilihan dan terus guna ubat ni. boleh kontek aku di 0123027882 (radzi)
Aku dah cuba ke atas semua kererta aku…myvi, citra dan alfa romeo semuanya di dapati berkesan malah kereta alfa romeo aku yang selalu makan minyak dah okey dah..lancar
memang jimat..aku pakai ubat gegat plain jenama fantes tu..memang berkesan. Aku masukkan 3 biji setiap RM10 minyak. Kalau tangki penuh Myvi aku aku masukkan 24 biji. RM80.00 petrol masukkan 24 biji le..Perghhhhh dia punya pergi lancar..selalu 400 km sahaja tangki penuh..dah pakai ubat gegat boleh pergi sampai 700 km lebih…itu pasal pelesit….lebih 110 km/j…kalau bawa 80km/j aku rasa jauh lagi boleh pergi….
Memandangkan hari ini harga petrol yang tinggi disebabkan kenaikan harga minyak global dan faktor-faktor lain, maka bermacamlah cara dilakukan untuk penjimatan petrol yang optima. Antaranya menggunakan pil fuel saver. Nampaknya sekarang kereta pun ada pil tersendiri.. Kaedah ini memang terbukti berkesan tetapi harga pil itu juga mahal dan kalau dikira tolak campur.. pi mai pi mai tang tu jugak… still kena keluar duit bergelen-gelen.
Ok.. sebenarnya ada satu cara istimewa yang diadaptasi daripada penggunaan pil penjimat petrol fuel saver tersebut… Mengikut kajian dan eksperimen oleh sekumpulan engineer syarikat automotive dan benda ni telah pon dibuktikan oleh mereka.. Iaitu kita boleh mengunakan UBAT GEGAT sebagai alternatif kepada penggunaan pil fuel saver. Ubat gegat yang dimaksudkan ialah yang berbentuk pil sebesar ibu jari tangan… yang kebiasaannya kita letak dalam almari atau laci untuk elakkan daripada serangga seperti lipas dan semut. Ubat gegat ini boleh didapati secara mudah dan murah dimana-mana pasar raya dan kedai runcit..
Cara-cara penggunaannya begini yang mesti diikut untuk kesan penjimatan yang optima,
* Pergi mana-mana stesen minyak untuk mengisi petrol dan pastikan memilih jenis unleaded(tanpa plumbum) sahaja.
* Sila buat isian sepenuh mungkin tangki minyak kereta anda.. sebabnya kita tidak mahu ada ruang udara dalam tangki minyak… cuba minimumkan atau kalau boleh tidak ada langsung ruang udara..
* Bila tangki sudah penuh dengan petrol, anda terus memasukkan 2 biji ubat gegat yang berbentuk pil tadi kedalam tangki minyak dan tutup dengan ketat secepat mungkin… tujuannya nak kurangkan tidakbalas dengan gas dalam udara.
* Ok lepas itu anda boleh pandu macam biasa.. dan pastikan anda telah resetkan meter mileage anda kepada zero untuk anda melihat keajaiban hasilnya nanti.
Cara ini telah terbukti berkesan menjimatkan 25%-30% pengunaan petrol oleh kereta anda dan tidak ada kesan sampingan langsung, malahan fungsi ubat gegat tadi adalah 99% sama dengan pil fuel saver yang dijual dipasaran..bezanya cuma bentuk fuel saver yang lebih kecil. Selamat mencuba..
Testimoni :
Memang betol pasal kawan saya dan saya dah bertahun2 mengunakkannya. .Mula saya x percaya,tapi mmng dia tiap kali balik penang dari melaka dia masokkan 2 biji dalam 4 wheel dia.Saya x slalu long distance tapi skali2 saya gunakkan.Tak der pon meletop.Very effective untuk long distance. x caya contact saya 019 6602930
aku dah cuba kt keta aku dan keta bini aku. mmg jimat dan terbukti! ubat gegat x mendatangkan kesan sampingan! ramai yg x tahu psl kelebihan ubat ni. pada mulanya aku x percaya. memandangkan harga petrol dh naik dan membebankan rakyat skrg, aku xde pilihan dan terus guna ubat ni. boleh kontek aku di 0123027882 (radzi)
Aku dah cuba ke atas semua kererta aku…myvi, citra dan alfa romeo semuanya di dapati berkesan malah kereta alfa romeo aku yang selalu makan minyak dah okey dah..lancar
memang jimat..aku pakai ubat gegat plain jenama fantes tu..memang berkesan. Aku masukkan 3 biji setiap RM10 minyak. Kalau tangki penuh Myvi aku aku masukkan 24 biji. RM80.00 petrol masukkan 24 biji le..Perghhhhh dia punya pergi lancar..selalu 400 km sahaja tangki penuh..dah pakai ubat gegat boleh pergi sampai 700 km lebih…itu pasal pelesit….lebih 110 km/j…kalau bawa 80km/j aku rasa jauh lagi boleh pergi….
妳擦什麼香水(一定要看!)小心係騙局
大約三個星期前，我在加油站加油。那時大 概是晚上十一點半左右；有部車朝我接近，車內有兩男兩女。
開車的那個男人問我： 『妳擦哪種香水？』
我感到有些疑惑，然後我問：『為什麼問這個？』
他說：『我們有在販賣一些較便宜的名牌香水。』
我回答他我身上並沒帶錢。
接著他從車內的一疊紙中抽出一張遞給我，上面寫著 很多香水的名稱。
我快速的瀏覽一遍之後還給他，並再說明 一次我沒錢買。
然後他告訴我沒關係，他們有收支票、 現金、或信用卡。
結果車內的其他人開始大笑。
我接著進入我的車子跟他們說謝了不用了。
之後，就在昨天，我收到這封 e-mail ，它讓我整個 人都寒起來了。
請仔細閱讀以下這封信。這不是笑話 。
希望男性朋友也可以將這件事提醒讓你們的太太、女 兒、母親、姊妹等人知曉。
這世界似乎已變得越來越瘋狂 了。包裹內放置炸彈和停車場出現販賣香水的神經病。
但請務必要小心。
我昨天下午在停車場，有兩個男人過來問我擦什麼香 水。
然後他們接著問我要不要試用一些他們正在販賣的很 棒的香水，而且價錢公道。
但是如果我幾個星期前沒有收 到一封詐騙的警告信 “要不要聞聞這香水？”， 我真的很有可能去試用 。
這兩個男人依然站在車道上，我想等看看有無 人經過這裡。
我向前制止了一位正走向他們的女士，指 出他們的位置，告訴她 有關我收到 一封e-mail 的事。
若是有人在商場或停車場接近妳 ,推銷較便宜的香水要妳聞的話。
“ 這不是香水！那是乙醚！ ”當你聞到它，你就會昏倒。
然後他們就會拿走你的皮夾、 你身上所有的值錢物品、甚至天知道還有些什麼。
如果不是這封信，我很可能會去聞那“香水 ”。
謝謝寄這封信給我的好心朋友，使我免遭到原 先有可能遭遇的事。
所以我轉寄這封信給你們。請務必轉寄出去給你所有的女性朋友，並且請提高警覺，注意此類似事件！
如果收到此封信的是男性，請你們轉寄給你們的女性 朋友們！
這是真的！相信我，我經驗過！我當時正在 停車場上， 那時正是午餐時間。
這種事在白天夜晚都有可能發生的。有三個男人走向 我。我回到我辦公室時立即報警。
就如上述 email 所說的，“ 讓所有人知道此事 ” 。
讓你的朋友、家人、同事、甚至是任何人都知道 此 事。
因為這封信幫我很大，當時遇到的情況，我的第一個 念頭便是此信的警告！
開車的那個男人問我： 『妳擦哪種香水？』
我感到有些疑惑，然後我問：『為什麼問這個？』
他說：『我們有在販賣一些較便宜的名牌香水。』
我回答他我身上並沒帶錢。
接著他從車內的一疊紙中抽出一張遞給我，上面寫著 很多香水的名稱。
我快速的瀏覽一遍之後還給他，並再說明 一次我沒錢買。
然後他告訴我沒關係，他們有收支票、 現金、或信用卡。
結果車內的其他人開始大笑。
我接著進入我的車子跟他們說謝了不用了。
之後，就在昨天，我收到這封 e-mail ，它讓我整個 人都寒起來了。
請仔細閱讀以下這封信。這不是笑話 。
希望男性朋友也可以將這件事提醒讓你們的太太、女 兒、母親、姊妹等人知曉。
這世界似乎已變得越來越瘋狂 了。包裹內放置炸彈和停車場出現販賣香水的神經病。
但請務必要小心。
我昨天下午在停車場，有兩個男人過來問我擦什麼香 水。
然後他們接著問我要不要試用一些他們正在販賣的很 棒的香水，而且價錢公道。
但是如果我幾個星期前沒有收 到一封詐騙的警告信 “要不要聞聞這香水？”， 我真的很有可能去試用 。
這兩個男人依然站在車道上，我想等看看有無 人經過這裡。
我向前制止了一位正走向他們的女士，指 出他們的位置，告訴她 有關我收到 一封e-mail 的事。
若是有人在商場或停車場接近妳 ,推銷較便宜的香水要妳聞的話。
“ 這不是香水！那是乙醚！ ”當你聞到它，你就會昏倒。
然後他們就會拿走你的皮夾、 你身上所有的值錢物品、甚至天知道還有些什麼。
如果不是這封信，我很可能會去聞那“香水 ”。
謝謝寄這封信給我的好心朋友，使我免遭到原 先有可能遭遇的事。
所以我轉寄這封信給你們。請務必轉寄出去給你所有的女性朋友，並且請提高警覺，注意此類似事件！
如果收到此封信的是男性，請你們轉寄給你們的女性 朋友們！
這是真的！相信我，我經驗過！我當時正在 停車場上， 那時正是午餐時間。
這種事在白天夜晚都有可能發生的。有三個男人走向 我。我回到我辦公室時立即報警。
就如上述 email 所說的，“ 讓所有人知道此事 ” 。
讓你的朋友、家人、同事、甚至是任何人都知道 此 事。
因為這封信幫我很大，當時遇到的情況，我的第一個 念頭便是此信的警告！
用暖水服 藥 ?!
很多人病倒以後，在服用藥物時都使用溫熱水，但若藥物無法順利到達胃部，那是會很嚴重的 。快快修正你的服藥觀念啊 !
醫生教導服藥時應要如此做 :
膠囊可 以第一個吃，用冷水吞服，吞完最後一顆時，應要再多喝一些水，在睡前 30 分鐘就先服藥，服完忌立即躺下，比較安全啊!
實例轉述 :
某人日 前服用消炎膠囊時，因飲水量不夠，使膠囊附著在食道上，而造成食道嚴重灼傷，六天 以來只能靠凍鮮奶和開水度日，還要住院治療五天，醫生更警告如再延誤就醫有可能惡 化為食道穿孔。
服用膠 囊類藥物時，需注意 :
1... 千萬不可用溫水 / 熱水 / 果汁 / 含糖類飲料吞服，正確 是飲用冷水 / 冷開水。
2... 如服用後感覺喉嚨有異 物，速飲用大量冷開水。
3... 服用時應站直或坐直， 不要一服完就馬上躺下。
醫生教導服藥時應要如此做 :
膠囊可 以第一個吃，用冷水吞服，吞完最後一顆時，應要再多喝一些水，在睡前 30 分鐘就先服藥，服完忌立即躺下，比較安全啊!
實例轉述 :
某人日 前服用消炎膠囊時，因飲水量不夠，使膠囊附著在食道上，而造成食道嚴重灼傷，六天 以來只能靠凍鮮奶和開水度日，還要住院治療五天，醫生更警告如再延誤就醫有可能惡 化為食道穿孔。
服用膠 囊類藥物時，需注意 :
1... 千萬不可用溫水 / 熱水 / 果汁 / 含糖類飲料吞服，正確 是飲用冷水 / 冷開水。
2... 如服用後感覺喉嚨有異 物，速飲用大量冷開水。
3... 服用時應站直或坐直， 不要一服完就馬上躺下。
YOUR URINE AND YOU
Your urine holds many clues about your health, which is why physicians in ancient times studied its color, smell and taste as a way to diagnose disease.
What exactly is your urine? It's a byproduct of blood filtration from your kidneys.
A pigment called urochrome, which results from the breakdown of hemoglobin, a protein in your red blood cells, is what makes it yellow.
At the most basic level, the color of your urine can tell you two things:
1. If you have an infection
2. If you're dehydrated
Ideally, your urine should be light yellow, so for the former, CLOUDY urine is often a sign of an infection (or kidney stones), while dark yellow urine is a sign that you need to drink more water.
What else can the color of your urine tell you?
Red or Pink Urine:
This could be caused by blood in your urine (due to urinary tract infections,
enlarged kidney stones or even strenuous exercise),
medications or eating lots of blackberries, beets or rhubarb.
Orange Urine:
If your urine is orange, you may be very dehydrated.
This can also be caused by medications or eating lots of carrots.
Fluorescent Yellow Urine:
This happens when you take B vitamins.
Blue or Green Urine:
This can be caused by a rare condition that causes high levels of calcium.
It can also result from eating a lot of asparagus or taking certain medications. Additionally, if you have ever eaten asparagus you will also know it imparts a very characteristic odor to your urine.
Brown Urine:
Medications and some liver disorders can turn your urine tea-colored,
as can eating a lot of fava beans, rhubarb or aloe.
Urine that is SWEET-SMELLING is also a sign that you may have diabetes,
as the sugary smell may be coming from a high concentration of blood sugar in your urine.
Ultimately, paying attention to the simple clues your body gives you -- and that includes the things your body excretes -- is something everyone should do
What exactly is your urine? It's a byproduct of blood filtration from your kidneys.
A pigment called urochrome, which results from the breakdown of hemoglobin, a protein in your red blood cells, is what makes it yellow.
At the most basic level, the color of your urine can tell you two things:
1. If you have an infection
2. If you're dehydrated
Ideally, your urine should be light yellow, so for the former, CLOUDY urine is often a sign of an infection (or kidney stones), while dark yellow urine is a sign that you need to drink more water.
What else can the color of your urine tell you?
Red or Pink Urine:
This could be caused by blood in your urine (due to urinary tract infections,
enlarged kidney stones or even strenuous exercise),
medications or eating lots of blackberries, beets or rhubarb.
Orange Urine:
If your urine is orange, you may be very dehydrated.
This can also be caused by medications or eating lots of carrots.
Fluorescent Yellow Urine:
This happens when you take B vitamins.
Blue or Green Urine:
This can be caused by a rare condition that causes high levels of calcium.
It can also result from eating a lot of asparagus or taking certain medications. Additionally, if you have ever eaten asparagus you will also know it imparts a very characteristic odor to your urine.
Brown Urine:
Medications and some liver disorders can turn your urine tea-colored,
as can eating a lot of fava beans, rhubarb or aloe.
Urine that is SWEET-SMELLING is also a sign that you may have diabetes,
as the sugary smell may be coming from a high concentration of blood sugar in your urine.
Ultimately, paying attention to the simple clues your body gives you -- and that includes the things your body excretes -- is something everyone should do
The cycle of missing goes like this in Malaysia
Get Vietnamese workers, dogs missing.
Get Bangladeshi workers, Malay girls missing.
Get Indonesian workers, money missing.
Get Indian workers, jewellery missing.
Get Chinese workers, husbands missing.
Call the police, the evidence goes missing,
Call the lawyers, the judge go missing,
Call the ministry of transport, the reports go missing,
Change the government, funds go missing,
Say something and you may be missing.
Get Bangladeshi workers, Malay girls missing.
Get Indonesian workers, money missing.
Get Indian workers, jewellery missing.
Get Chinese workers, husbands missing.
Call the police, the evidence goes missing,
Call the lawyers, the judge go missing,
Call the ministry of transport, the reports go missing,
Change the government, funds go missing,
Say something and you may be missing.
搭乘電梯
有一天搭乘電梯，就遇上了電梯突然斷電，雖然緊急供電系統幾秒後就 開始作用，可是電梯還是從 13 樓迅速往下墬。
還好當時記起曾經看過電視教的， 趕快把每一層樓的按鍵都按下 ， 好在電梯在五樓終於停止了 ,.. 真的有檢回一條命感覺 !
當你面臨生死一線間時，當下的你所做的每一個動作將決定你的生死與 否。
生活中，難免會坐到電梯，但是，萬一遇到電梯發生事故 ，迅速往下墜落時，你可能只有一個念頭「站在電梯隨他吧！ ... 」
可是今天 ..... 我在電視的一個外國頻道看到一個非常好的節目。
其中，他們還請了專家示範 ..... 「電梯下墜時保護自己的最佳動作」
第一、 ( 不論有幾層樓 ) 趕快把每一層樓的按鍵都按下。
第二、如果電梯內有手把，請一隻手緊握手把。
第三、整個背部跟頭部緊貼電梯內牆，呈一直線。
第四、膝蓋呈彎曲姿勢。
說明： 因為電梯下墜時，你不會知道它會何時著地，且墜落時很可能會全身骨 折而死。
所以： ;
第一點是當緊急電源啟動時，電梯可以馬上停止繼續下墜。
第二點是為了要固定你人所在的位子，以致於你不會因為重心不穩而摔 傷。
第三點是為了要運用電梯牆壁作為脊椎的防護。
第四點是最重要的是因為韌帶是唯一人體富含彈性的一個組織 ，所以借用膝蓋彎曲來承受重擊壓力，比骨頭來承受壓力來的大。
這個資訊絕不虛構，只是我覺得很重要想讓大家都知道，以防萬一。
還好當時記起曾經看過電視教的， 趕快把每一層樓的按鍵都按下 ， 好在電梯在五樓終於停止了 ,.. 真的有檢回一條命感覺 !
當你面臨生死一線間時，當下的你所做的每一個動作將決定你的生死與 否。
生活中，難免會坐到電梯，但是，萬一遇到電梯發生事故 ，迅速往下墜落時，你可能只有一個念頭「站在電梯隨他吧！ ... 」
可是今天 ..... 我在電視的一個外國頻道看到一個非常好的節目。
其中，他們還請了專家示範 ..... 「電梯下墜時保護自己的最佳動作」
第一、 ( 不論有幾層樓 ) 趕快把每一層樓的按鍵都按下。
第二、如果電梯內有手把，請一隻手緊握手把。
第三、整個背部跟頭部緊貼電梯內牆，呈一直線。
第四、膝蓋呈彎曲姿勢。
說明： 因為電梯下墜時，你不會知道它會何時著地，且墜落時很可能會全身骨 折而死。
所以： ;
第一點是當緊急電源啟動時，電梯可以馬上停止繼續下墜。
第二點是為了要固定你人所在的位子，以致於你不會因為重心不穩而摔 傷。
第三點是為了要運用電梯牆壁作為脊椎的防護。
第四點是最重要的是因為韌帶是唯一人體富含彈性的一個組織 ，所以借用膝蓋彎曲來承受重擊壓力，比骨頭來承受壓力來的大。
這個資訊絕不虛構，只是我覺得很重要想讓大家都知道，以防萬一。
Kids are quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is..
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is....
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father'scherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
________________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
MARIA: Here it is..
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
________________________________
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is....
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father'scherry tree, but also admitted it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
________________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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