Kiasu Jokes...

Story 1
Ah Lian ask shopkeeper: Eh Ah chek, u got sell stocking up to knee, boh?
Ah Chek : Lu siao ah! stocking wear up to 'yeo' (waist) only, where got up to the 'nee'(breast)one.


Story 2
3 recruits - Chinese, Malay & Indian are at the army supply base to collect underwear. The sergeant was there to aid the supplies.

Sergeant: Hei Ah Beng! How many underwear you need ah?
Ah Beng: (thinks a while) 7 sasen(sergeant)!
Sergeant: (puzzled) How come so many?
Ah Beng: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun. One day one.
Sergeant: (asked Malay recruit) Eh Mat! How many underwear?
Mat: (without hesitation) 6 sargen!
Sergeant: (curious) How come six?
Mat: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, Sat & Sun. Friday I wear sarong.
Sergeant: (asked Indian recruit) Dei Tambi. How many underwears dah dei?
Tambi: (very confidently) 12 Sarjen !!!!
Sergeant: (shocked & fell to the ground) Why you need so many for?
Tambi: January, February, March ... One month one.


Story 3
Once upon a time, a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a lounge and wanted the DJ to play the song 'Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti' (In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys bread). The DJ told them that they only have English songs and told them to re-select another song. The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a bigfuss, claiming the DJ was insulting them. The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down. Finally, after long talk with Ah Bengs, the manager found out that Ah Bengs were actually asking for
the song 'Unchained Melody' by the Righteous Brothers.


Story 4
Santa Singh just graduated from Law school and decided to apply for a job in the most prestigious 'Lee & Lee Law Firm'.

During the interview, Mr. Lee KY looked at Santa Singh's resume, thought for a while and said, 'Well, I would need to discuss your application with my wife.' So Lee KY went off to discuss Santa's application with his wife. Lee KY's wife said, 'C'mon, don't you know that we only hire lawyers with surnames beginning with 'Lee' only? Of course, we can't hire Santa Singh!' So Lee KY told the bad news to Santa Singh about his rejection.

Few days later, Santa Singh came back and requested for another interview and Lee KY said, 'Look Santa, I have already told you that we only hire...' When Santa Singh interrupted him and said, 'I know, I know. I have just changed my name.

Lee KY looked at Santa Singh in surprise and asked, 'What is your new name then?' Santa Singh replied, 'Last name Manga & Surname Lee,!' (Manga-Lee)