Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Highlight to get the answer
下列有四個問題及一個加分題，你必須立刻回答，不能花時間慢慢想，讓我們看看你有多聰明。準備好，向下捲！
First Question： 第一題
You are participating in a race.. You overtake the second place person. What position are you in?
你參加賽跑，追過第2名，你是第幾名？
Answer： If you answered that you are first, then you are wrong! If you overtake the second place person, and you take their place, you are second!
解答： 如果你的回答是第1名，你就錯了！你如果追過第2名，你只是取代那人的位置，你是第2名。
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question. 回答第 2 題，你不能使用與回答第 1 題相同的時間。
Second Question ： 第二題
If you are in a race, and you overtake the last person, then you are?
你參加賽跑，你追過最後一名，你是第幾名？
Answer ： If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?! You're not having a good time at this! Are you?
解答： 如果你的回答是倒數第2名，你又錯了！告訴我，你怎能追過最後一名？顯然你並未樂在其中！
Very tricky maths! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
很詭異的算術！這只能在腦中盤算。不要使用紙與筆或計算機，試試看。
Third Question： 第三題
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. now add 10. What is the total?
以 1000加上40，再加1000，再加30 ，再加1000，現在加上20，再加一次1000，現在加上10，總數是什麼？
Answer ： Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator!
解答： 得到5000是嗎？正確答案是 4100，不相信，用計算機查證吧！
Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?
今天對你鐵定諸事不宜，或許最後一題你會對？
Fourth Question： 第四題
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Mary 的父親有 5 個女兒，第 1 個女兒 Nana ， 第 2 個女兒 Nene ， 第 3個女兒
Nini ，第 4 個女兒 Nono ，第 5 個女兒的名字是什麼？
Answer ： Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!
解答： 答案是 Nunu 嗎？不！絕對不是，她的名字是Mary，請再讀一次問題！
Okay, now the bonus round. You can partially redeem yourself with this one！
好，現在是加分題。這題可稍稍解救﹝彌補﹞你！
Bonus Question 加分題 :
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush.. By imitating the > action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
一個啞巴想買牙刷，他模仿刷牙的動作，成功的向店主表達，也完成了購買。現在如果一個瞎子想買一副太陽眼鏡，他要如何表達？
Answer ： He just has to open his mouth and ask. He's blind, not mute -so simple.
解答： 他只要張開嘴問即可。他是瞎子，不是啞巴。就這麼簡單！
KEEP THIS GOING TO FRUSTRATE THE 'SMART PEOPLE' IN YOUR LIFE
把這個傳下去，以便打擊那些你生活中遇到的「聰明人」 !!
Fire Drill
A fire alarm rang at 4 PM at our office when almost all the employees are in (approx 2,000).
As usual, the entire office was evacuated within 5 minutes and every employee gathered outside at the designated location(s).
10 minutes passed... then 5 more minutes passed, but no information or update. After more than 15 minutes of standing outside the office, the following announcement was heard over the PA system:
Dear Employees, with a heavy heart I am making this announcement that for any of you it will be the last evacuation drill...
Due to recessionary pressures, the company is laying off almost 50% of the employees. While moving back into the office, if your Access Card does not work, you are amongst those laid off. All your belongings will be couriered to your residential addresses tomorrow.
We have followed this approach as we did not want to fill email boxes
with layoff instructions and consequent good-bye emails in thousands. We also wanted to avoid any fist-fights inside the office premises.
Hope you have nice career ahead. Please move in NOW and try your luck.
As usual, the entire office was evacuated within 5 minutes and every employee gathered outside at the designated location(s).
10 minutes passed... then 5 more minutes passed, but no information or update. After more than 15 minutes of standing outside the office, the following announcement was heard over the PA system:
Dear Employees, with a heavy heart I am making this announcement that for any of you it will be the last evacuation drill...
Due to recessionary pressures, the company is laying off almost 50% of the employees. While moving back into the office, if your Access Card does not work, you are amongst those laid off. All your belongings will be couriered to your residential addresses tomorrow.
We have followed this approach as we did not want to fill email boxes
with layoff instructions and consequent good-bye emails in thousands. We also wanted to avoid any fist-fights inside the office premises.
Hope you have nice career ahead. Please move in NOW and try your luck.
STORY BEHIND YOUR DATE OF BIRTH
If U were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month U r number 1....
If U were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then U r number 2...
If U were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then U r number 3...
If U were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then U r number 4...
If U were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then U r number 5...
If U were born on the 6th,15th,24th of any month then U r number 6...
If U were born on the 7th,16th,25th of any month then U r number 7...
If U were born on the 8th,17th,26th of any month then U r number 8...
If U were born on the 9th,18th,27th of any month then U r number 9...
Number 1
You are smart, straight talking, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest,
Jealous on competing basis, kind hearted, angry, friendly, authorities, Famous person...always want to be and regarded as first on people Position, they are often like to be independent, will never be under Others, self confident people!
You are most likely to fall in love in the younger age, but will get Marry when you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views And you are most likely to take revenge over your Enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future.
If you are guy you will be very popular that everybody will have mental attraction and respect at you.
You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and Well talented in numerous issues!! But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard.
To bring you & your name down. This is undercover!! Coz of your smart behavior you will be hated by some People too...
Your family life is very cool, you will have a very nice partner &
Wonderful children... You are pioneer, independent & original...
Your best match is 4,6,8 good match is 3,5,7 !!!
Number 2
No matter what, you will be loved by every one coz your ruler is the Moon and every one loves the Moon. Well.. You are a person who day dream a lot, You have very low-self confidence, you need back up for every move in your life, you Are very much unpredictable. Means you do change according to time and circumstances, Kind a selfish, have a very strong sense of musical, artistic talent, verbal communication.
Your attitudes are like the Moon, comes to gloom and fade away so everybody can expect Changes in you. You can be a next Mahatma Gandhi who does peace love or you can be a Hitler who wants to destroy the man kind and peace (I mean in the community and your own home).
If you really have a deep thought about your own believe in God you can Feel the difference which will make you stronger! Most of the time your Words are a kind of would be happening true! So without any knowledge You can predict the situation. You will become poets, writers, any Artistic business people!
You are not strong in love, so you will be there and here till you get Marry.. If U r a girl you will be a responsible woman in the whole Family. If U r a man you will involve in fights & arguments in the family or Vice-versa. Means you will sacrifice your life for the goodness sake of Your family...You are gentle , intuitive with a broad vision, a power Behind the scenes, well balanced People!!!
Your best match is 2 ,5 ,9 no other people can put up with you !!!
Number 3
You are a person of hard hearted, selfish most of the times, religious, Loves to climb up in your life. You always tend to have lots of problems Within your family in the early stages but you will put up with everything..
You have the strong word power, pretty happy face.. So wherever you go always You have got what you wanted!!! And from the birth always wanted to work hard in order To achieve something.. You will not get Anything without hard work! When you reach a man/ woman age you want other younger Once to listen to you because you want younger people to respect people older than them.
You do set so many examples to others. Generally you are not a cool person. It's not easy
thing dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you like someone's attitud! e then
here you go, what can I say? It will be a lasting friendship. You always have respect from others.
Your life seems to have lots of worries and problems but sure they won't be long.. You will always have brilliant kids!!! You love the money a bit too much so temptation will push you to endless trying and trying.. If you are a guy then it's over. Looking after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except 21st born men). And number 3s you will be such an example of how to be in the culture & life!!! If you are girl then you have good character and culture & hardworking attitude. You always follow.. You are a freedom lover, creative, ambition focused, a person who brings beauty , hope & joy to this world!!!
Your best match 6 ,9. Good match 1 ,3 ,5 !!!
Number 4
You are very stubborn too, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in life, very cool, helpful, you have rough word power.. Might put lots of people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man, and you often understands others and their problems well. If you are a girl you are very good with studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of the time after girl friends (almost) at times, you will have sort of too much fun life with mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and get away with their life and you will become empty handed and don't know what to do... So be careful!! You love to spend anyway!!! Your good will is you are always there to help family and friends. Tell you what you people are little gem! s, specially the girls..
You always fall in love in younger age as well. You often live with disappointments, for an example you have got a degree in some thing... but you will be unemployed.. or will do very ordinary jobs.
But you will take care of your family very well...All you need to be careful of people who will take
advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relations too.. You are radical, patient, persistent, a bit old-fashioned, you live with foundation & order...
Your best Match 1, 8. Good match 5 ,6 , 7 !!!
Number 5
You are very popular within the community, you can get things done by just chatting..to even enemies! You have a pretty good business mind, you are often have no-idea what is today is like, or tomorrow is like, you are a person who does anything when your head thinks "lets do this". You will be famous if you open up a business, get involve in share dealings, music etc.. Very popular with sense of humor ,you are the one your friends and families will always ask for help, and you are the one actually get money on credit and help your friends. You will have more than 1 relationship, but when u get settle down you will be a bit selfish anyway. Coz your other half will have a pretty good amount of control in you, be careful! You tend to go for other relationships!
Contacts even you are married at times 'coz your popularity.. You are someone who get along
with anyone coz the number 5 is the middle number.. Changes & freedom lovers you are! You are an explorer with magic on your face. You learn your life through experience and it's your best teacher!!!
Your best match 1 ,2 ,9. Good match 6 ,8 !!!
Number 6
Ooopppss..you are born to enjoy.. You don't care about others. I mean you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person.. You will be very good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very beautiful girls and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.
You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of looks from most girls and will involve in more than few relationships until you get married. If you are girl, most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are ! a caring
person towards your family & friends . If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically and mentally. Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further...
Your best match 1, 6, 9. Good match 4, 5!!!
Number 7
You have got the attraction to anyone out there, you are realistic, very confident, happy, such a talented individual with your education, music, arts, singing, and most importantly acting too. You have real problems with bad temper! If you are a girl, you are popular with the subjects listed above.
You give up things for your parents. I mean you value your family status a lot, you will be
in the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls,
you are a very talented too. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their marriage life.
Only a very few are happy. You have everything in your life, but still always number 7s have some sort of unfullfilness, such worries all their lifetime. It's probably the Lord given you al! l sort of over the standard humans talents and you are about to suffer in family life. So you need to get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don't, then you might end-up single. So take care with this issue, ok? You are wonderful, friendly, artistic, happy person.. You are born to contribute lots to this world!!!
Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4 !!!
Number 8
You are a very strong personality, there's no one out there will understand you. You are very good at pointing your finger at some thing and say "this is what".
You are more likely to suffer from the early ages. I mean poverty. If your times are not good
you might lose either of your parent and end up looking after your entire family. You often suffer all the way in life.
The problems will not allow you to study further, but you will learn the life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight for justice and may die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with handful of friends and most of the time live life lonely and always prepared to help others. Well. once you get married (which is often late) then your bad lucks will go away a bit and you! u become safe. You will face un-expected problems such as : the error, government, poisonous animals, accidents. You are some one with great discipline, persistence, courage, strength which will take you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter!
Your Best match 1 ,4, 8. Good match 5 !!!
Number 9
Hey....you guys are the incompatibles people in the world. You are so
strong, physically and mentally... You are often have big-aims. You will work
hard and hard to get there.
Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will have fighting life.. But when you achieve what you have done, it's always a big task you have done! You are so much respected in the community, you are a person who can make a challenge and successfully finish the matter off.
You are very naughty in your younger age, often beaten up by your parents and involve in fights
and you seemed to have lots of injuries in your life time. But when u grow you become calm and macho type.
Love is not an easy matter for you. You are good in engineering or banking jobs coz people always trust you.
Your family life is very good, but will have worries over your children.
Your such qualities are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate.
You are born to achieve targets and serve every one all equally without any prejudice.
You are totally a role model to anybody in the world for a great inspiration.
Your Best match 3, 5, 6, 9. Good match 2
If U were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then U r number 2...
If U were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then U r number 3...
If U were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then U r number 4...
If U were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then U r number 5...
If U were born on the 6th,15th,24th of any month then U r number 6...
If U were born on the 7th,16th,25th of any month then U r number 7...
If U were born on the 8th,17th,26th of any month then U r number 8...
If U were born on the 9th,18th,27th of any month then U r number 9...
Number 1
You are smart, straight talking, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest,
Jealous on competing basis, kind hearted, angry, friendly, authorities, Famous person...always want to be and regarded as first on people Position, they are often like to be independent, will never be under Others, self confident people!
You are most likely to fall in love in the younger age, but will get Marry when you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views And you are most likely to take revenge over your Enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future.
If you are guy you will be very popular that everybody will have mental attraction and respect at you.
You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and Well talented in numerous issues!! But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard.
To bring you & your name down. This is undercover!! Coz of your smart behavior you will be hated by some People too...
Your family life is very cool, you will have a very nice partner &
Wonderful children... You are pioneer, independent & original...
Your best match is 4,6,8 good match is 3,5,7 !!!
Number 2
No matter what, you will be loved by every one coz your ruler is the Moon and every one loves the Moon. Well.. You are a person who day dream a lot, You have very low-self confidence, you need back up for every move in your life, you Are very much unpredictable. Means you do change according to time and circumstances, Kind a selfish, have a very strong sense of musical, artistic talent, verbal communication.
Your attitudes are like the Moon, comes to gloom and fade away so everybody can expect Changes in you. You can be a next Mahatma Gandhi who does peace love or you can be a Hitler who wants to destroy the man kind and peace (I mean in the community and your own home).
If you really have a deep thought about your own believe in God you can Feel the difference which will make you stronger! Most of the time your Words are a kind of would be happening true! So without any knowledge You can predict the situation. You will become poets, writers, any Artistic business people!
You are not strong in love, so you will be there and here till you get Marry.. If U r a girl you will be a responsible woman in the whole Family. If U r a man you will involve in fights & arguments in the family or Vice-versa. Means you will sacrifice your life for the goodness sake of Your family...You are gentle , intuitive with a broad vision, a power Behind the scenes, well balanced People!!!
Your best match is 2 ,5 ,9 no other people can put up with you !!!
Number 3
You are a person of hard hearted, selfish most of the times, religious, Loves to climb up in your life. You always tend to have lots of problems Within your family in the early stages but you will put up with everything..
You have the strong word power, pretty happy face.. So wherever you go always You have got what you wanted!!! And from the birth always wanted to work hard in order To achieve something.. You will not get Anything without hard work! When you reach a man/ woman age you want other younger Once to listen to you because you want younger people to respect people older than them.
You do set so many examples to others. Generally you are not a cool person. It's not easy
thing dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you like someone's attitud! e then
here you go, what can I say? It will be a lasting friendship. You always have respect from others.
Your life seems to have lots of worries and problems but sure they won't be long.. You will always have brilliant kids!!! You love the money a bit too much so temptation will push you to endless trying and trying.. If you are a guy then it's over. Looking after your family and help friends, so you will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except 21st born men). And number 3s you will be such an example of how to be in the culture & life!!! If you are girl then you have good character and culture & hardworking attitude. You always follow.. You are a freedom lover, creative, ambition focused, a person who brings beauty , hope & joy to this world!!!
Your best match 6 ,9. Good match 1 ,3 ,5 !!!
Number 4
You are very stubborn too, very hard working but unlucky in important matters in life, very cool, helpful, you have rough word power.. Might put lots of people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man, and you often understands others and their problems well. If you are a girl you are very good with studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of the time after girl friends (almost) at times, you will have sort of too much fun life with mates & girls. Your friends will spend your time & money and get away with their life and you will become empty handed and don't know what to do... So be careful!! You love to spend anyway!!! Your good will is you are always there to help family and friends. Tell you what you people are little gem! s, specially the girls..
You always fall in love in younger age as well. You often live with disappointments, for an example you have got a degree in some thing... but you will be unemployed.. or will do very ordinary jobs.
But you will take care of your family very well...All you need to be careful of people who will take
advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relations too.. You are radical, patient, persistent, a bit old-fashioned, you live with foundation & order...
Your best Match 1, 8. Good match 5 ,6 , 7 !!!
Number 5
You are very popular within the community, you can get things done by just chatting..to even enemies! You have a pretty good business mind, you are often have no-idea what is today is like, or tomorrow is like, you are a person who does anything when your head thinks "lets do this". You will be famous if you open up a business, get involve in share dealings, music etc.. Very popular with sense of humor ,you are the one your friends and families will always ask for help, and you are the one actually get money on credit and help your friends. You will have more than 1 relationship, but when u get settle down you will be a bit selfish anyway. Coz your other half will have a pretty good amount of control in you, be careful! You tend to go for other relationships!
Contacts even you are married at times 'coz your popularity.. You are someone who get along
with anyone coz the number 5 is the middle number.. Changes & freedom lovers you are! You are an explorer with magic on your face. You learn your life through experience and it's your best teacher!!!
Your best match 1 ,2 ,9. Good match 6 ,8 !!!
Number 6
Ooopppss..you are born to enjoy.. You don't care about others. I mean you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person.. You will be very good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented, kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very beautiful girls and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.
You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of looks from most girls and will involve in more than few relationships until you get married. If you are girl, most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are ! a caring
person towards your family & friends . If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically and mentally. Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of. You are a person of compassion, comfort & fairness, domestic responsibility, good judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further...
Your best match 1, 6, 9. Good match 4, 5!!!
Number 7
You have got the attraction to anyone out there, you are realistic, very confident, happy, such a talented individual with your education, music, arts, singing, and most importantly acting too. You have real problems with bad temper! If you are a girl, you are popular with the subjects listed above.
You give up things for your parents. I mean you value your family status a lot, you will be
in the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls,
you are a very talented too. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their marriage life.
Only a very few are happy. You have everything in your life, but still always number 7s have some sort of unfullfilness, such worries all their lifetime. It's probably the Lord given you al! l sort of over the standard humans talents and you are about to suffer in family life. So you need to get ready looking for a partner rather than waiting. If you don't, then you might end-up single. So take care with this issue, ok? You are wonderful, friendly, artistic, happy person.. You are born to contribute lots to this world!!!
Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4 !!!
Number 8
You are a very strong personality, there's no one out there will understand you. You are very good at pointing your finger at some thing and say "this is what".
You are more likely to suffer from the early ages. I mean poverty. If your times are not good
you might lose either of your parent and end up looking after your entire family. You often suffer all the way in life.
The problems will not allow you to study further, but you will learn the life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight for justice and may die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with handful of friends and most of the time live life lonely and always prepared to help others. Well. once you get married (which is often late) then your bad lucks will go away a bit and you! u become safe. You will face un-expected problems such as : the error, government, poisonous animals, accidents. You are some one with great discipline, persistence, courage, strength which will take you to success. You are a great part of a family team. You are a fighter!
Your Best match 1 ,4, 8. Good match 5 !!!
Number 9
Hey....you guys are the incompatibles people in the world. You are so
strong, physically and mentally... You are often have big-aims. You will work
hard and hard to get there.
Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you will have fighting life.. But when you achieve what you have done, it's always a big task you have done! You are so much respected in the community, you are a person who can make a challenge and successfully finish the matter off.
You are very naughty in your younger age, often beaten up by your parents and involve in fights
and you seemed to have lots of injuries in your life time. But when u grow you become calm and macho type.
Love is not an easy matter for you. You are good in engineering or banking jobs coz people always trust you.
Your family life is very good, but will have worries over your children.
Your such qualities are humanitarian, patient, very wise & compassionate.
You are born to achieve targets and serve every one all equally without any prejudice.
You are totally a role model to anybody in the world for a great inspiration.
Your Best match 3, 5, 6, 9. Good match 2
Just for laugh
1.
Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy : This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
2.
Doctor : your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife : When must I give them to him?
Doctor : They are for you.
3.
God saw me hungry, he created pizza. He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi
He saw me in dark, he created light . He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
4.
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray "Take only one. God is watching. "Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
5.
One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up
MOM : Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.
SON : But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school.
MOM : Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school.
SON : One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.
MOM : Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.
SON : Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?
MOM : One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.
6.
What are the three fastest ways of communication? Three fastest means of communication in the world. Tele-phone, Tele-vision, Tell-a-woman. You still want faster? Tell her not to tell anyone :-)
7.
A man is dying of Cancer.His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?
Answer:"So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom!"
Girl: Will you love me after marriage also?
Boy : This depends on your husband, if he allows me.
2.
Doctor : your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife : When must I give them to him?
Doctor : They are for you.
3.
God saw me hungry, he created pizza. He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi
He saw me in dark, he created light . He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
4.
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray "Take only one. God is watching. "Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
5.
One Early morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up
MOM : Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.
SON : But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school.
MOM : Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school.
SON : One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me.
MOM : Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.
SON : Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?
MOM : One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old and should understand your responsibilities. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the school.
6.
What are the three fastest ways of communication? Three fastest means of communication in the world. Tele-phone, Tele-vision, Tell-a-woman. You still want faster? Tell her not to tell anyone :-)
7.
A man is dying of Cancer.His son asked him, "Dad, why do u keep telling people u're dying of AIDS?
Answer:"So when I'm dead no one will dare touch ur mom!"
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