Nudist Colony

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked
by, and the man immediately got an erection.

The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'Did you call for me?'

The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'

She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she led him to the
side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel eagerly
Pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.

Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered
out of the steam room toward him.

'Did you call for me? ' asked the hairy man.

'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.

'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spun him around, put
him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.

The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.

'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'

'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'

'Listen, Lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here.

Made in America.........?

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock
(MADE IN JAPAN) for 6am.

While his coffeepot
(MADE IN CHINA)

was perking, he shaved with his electric razor
(MADE IN HONGKONG)

He put on a dress shirt
(MADE IN SRI LANKA),

designer jeans
(MADE IN SINGAPORE)

and tennis shoes
(MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet
(MADE IN INDIA)

he sat down with his calculator
(MADE IN MEXICO)

to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch
(MADE IN TAIWAN)

to the radio
(MADE IN INDIA)

he got in his car
(MADE IN GERMANY)

filled it with GAS
(from Saudi Arabia)

and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.

At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his computer
(Made In Malaysia),

John decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals
(MADE IN BRAZIL)

poured himself a glass of wine
(MADE IN FRANCE)

and turned on his TV
(MADE IN INDONESIA),

and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA

AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT MADE IN KENYA